17/10/11 FOR A CHANGE, DO NOTHING

I have a dream. A familiar face came to me. The lady. The smile I want to catch, but refuses to land. I woke up. Wondering. In this pain. I just jumped down to talk to Him. I pray. My phone sounded. An SMS came in. An old friend of my grand mum just passed away. I don't dare to drive back to my village. My pain is mounting. I just want to take a bit precaution before my Friday treatment.

(2) Sure can't be back easily to sleep. Out to my living space. Took my warm drink and a tablet of melathonine. Got a book: Learning from the Heart by Daniel Gottlieb. I came across this paragraph:

Max, a sixty-years, follows a routine that hasn’t changed in forty-years. Every day, he puts on the same threadbare cloths and sets off for his shop. Along the way, he stops in at the synagogue to pray. After working hard all day, he returns home and hands over his earning to his wife.

Max has only one little vice. Every day, he spends a dollar on a single lottery ticket

One day, Max comes up with a winning ticket. He arrives home with a check for a million dollars. As usual, Max`hands the ticket to his wife. The next morning, he gets ready to go to work.

His wife stops him. "Max, you've worked so hard all your life and now you have the opportunity to enjoy yourself. Go get a new suit and a massage. Take of yourself!"

Ever-dutiful Max does exactly what his wife suggests. He gets a massage and facial, and then spends hundreds of dollars on a beautiful new outfit. It's complete transformation. Who would ever believe this is the same Max?

He crosses the street with his shoulders back and chest out. Just then, a car barrels down the street and runs over poor Max.

Because he has been so good throughout the years, Max takes the express lane to heaven. He gets to talk to God directly: "God, I only have one question. I have been such a good person my whole life. Always, I'm the same Max, living the same way. Finally I get to be a different kind of guy, and you take everything away. Why?"

God` pauses for a moment and says:,"Max, to tell you the truth, I didn't recognize you".

(3) SubhanaAllah. My pray, He answered me. My joke with the Chief Minister. The pain in my heart and tummy. The book. The phrase. The dream. The ever avoiding smile. The ever difficult face. The unreachable lady. The death of my good grand mum's friend. The timing of many things. All just in place.................God you just don't want me to change. I submit, I will hold back.....I'll be back to be just with my people, Your men....simple, InsyaAllah. I'll be there, even if it is difficult. I'll be with them in pain, to clear the pain, just as what I'll be going through: In Pain to Kill the Pain.

(4) Tan Sri Aziz Husein, thanks for dropping bye and talked to me. I have said, not by coincidence, He is great. I will live a simple small funny life in my Village. I'll be there to make my people be great, Allah help me. Ishak and Rahman of Denver, all are not by coincidence, I said that to you guys, Allah guided me to. Thanks God, I submit, help me.

Matang Jaya, Kuching
26 Oct., 2011