THOUGH TESTS:
I was damn lazy since the last week of August to end of Sept. I was so lazy to get out of my bed. It is natural sometimes for one to be lazy - unproductive, but not to drag for more than a month long, especially for hyper active person as me. I can't believe that I turned so lazy over such a long period. I was down in almost everything. My soul was death. My soul gone I don't know where. My emotion I would say, flew all over and got lost. My body turned weak. I lost my appetite to eat. Normally once I felt body weak, I would drive around to look for good foods. The Japanese Soup or at least the Thai Somtam. At that lazy period, I just turned dead wood - tunggul reput as my kampong Malay used to say.
(2) What makes me turned damn lazy? Firstly, I was frustrated, my 20 acres of full grown and well kept banana farm being rampaged by theft. I had been working so hard to established the farm ever since. At least I lost 2-3 tons of banana on weekly basis. Not only that, my durians, I can't even to have a fruit for myself. My young coconut trees were chopped down, the thieves took the shoots for sale for masak lemak. Some of my best guava seedlings that I got from Java were also stolen. Now is also a dry spell, so much so, lots ofweeding and fertilizing works need to be shelved. Since I was morally down, that deactivated my body system. I was also down with lots of health issues then. My body was shaky, I can't stand or walk for long hours. I could feel that my body vigor was at the lowest point. Thirdly, my corporate works had been in some mess. In this regard, I have to deal with a very conservative bureaucratic system, to the extend all decision must be made based on idealism theoretical norms. Worst I sensed there were elements of jealousy over lots of my ideas on how especially Muslim entities should move within the current bad economic situation. My dealings are commercial in orientation, which take commercial feasibility as key consideration, on the other side, the government is more concern over institutional authorities. Little napoleons existed all over the paths. Blending the two, squeezed me in two fighting bulls situation. This is amounting to the Muhammad Sabu analogy: "elephant fight elephant, the grass died".
(3) In the simple words, I was then facing all sorts of challenges and counter productive situations. But Alhamdullillah, my military mind stand firm and pushed me to stand.
RETHINKING AND REENRGISED:
My mind was the best leftover that I have in such damn lazy moment. My body, my soul, my spirit and wholesome of me could be damn lazy, but my mind never surrendered. My brain keep thinking, I can't continue be lazy. Once I turned lazy, the psychological and communal effects will be far damaging. In my Kampong, I can't be seen lazy. My relatives and community had never seen me a lazy donkey. At any moment, my relatives and community will see me active doing what so ever, that sometimes they can't understand. I had been seen as moral boaster to my community. Since graduated in 1984, I had been always trying to show case on how to improve our living standard. We were in great livelihood hardship then and to some extend to this day. Though they seem be indifferent of me, but they keep their close watch on me. In town, lots of friends will also wander, where am I if they not seen me around. Despite I'm always being solitaire, among friends we normally poke each other wherever we be presence, especially nowadays that I keep my long white hair. So far, in town I am the only one having long white silver hair. For that, people poke me as a wandering professor.

(2) It was lucky that I got a weeding celebration invitation from my kid days buddy, Rozalan Husein in Kuala Krai, Kelantan. At least I could get out of my bedroom and hoping for reenergizing soonest. I get my other buddy, Ashaari Yunus from Kuala Lumpur to join me. He got minor stroke on last July but I couldn't pay him a visit. We flew to Kota Bharu on the 2 Sept., 2026 and spent our solid two days and two nights there. The insertion photo depicting some of my kid day buddies in Kuala Krai in 1973-75. Rozalan Husein is to the far right with his white kupiah - and I poked him, " He need that white kupiah for his grey hair had gone thinner everyday". Rozalan used to cycle to school form his home at Jalan Keretapi Kuala Krai, that is about 3 KM to SMR Kuala Krai (now upgraded to SMK Kuala Krai). On the way back, I used to ride together with him, and from Jalan Keretapi I'll just walked back to my hostel at SMK Sultan Yahya Petra not far from his home. Rozalan was a nice humble kid then. As far as I could remember, we never argue on any thing. He was also a loyal and hard working buddy. Both of us were school prefect, and he never disobeyed my instruction to carry all of his duties. I was the then Head Prefect. He loves hockey. I chose basketball. Rozalan did not do well in his SRP but he never give up to struggle until he qualified himself to be a teacher. His latest position was the Guru Besar somewhere in Manik Urai, Gua Musang area. He worked through great hardship and even only getting married at the age of 40 and on last 4 Sept., 2026, his eldest son settled down at a very young 25 years old. In class, Rozalan seated to one spot ahead to my left. Both of us were competitor to be the best in the Industrial Art subject. He was very inclined to me for English, Mathematic and Integrated Sciences.
(3) Next to Rozalan is Ashikin. She indeed was my one year senior. In those days, once one can't performed well, so one will be given a chance to repeat. Not all, but how she did it I was not sure. She claimed to be in the same class with me in the Form Three, but I can't recalled such thing. I have good memories about my classmates and I even can still remember their sitting coordinate in the class. To this day, I can't figure out Ashikin's position in my class. She was among those who were very close to my foster sister Azizah Hj Harun, of which her dad was then my foster parent and Juariah, Rozalan's elder sister. These three cute senior girls, since they were my senior school prefects, we always be together in our socialization. We used to enjoy having class break together. Through them then I get to know two other senior smart boys especially Dzulkifli Muhammad (whom turned my senior at SMSAH, Jitra) and Mamat Ismail - an all rounder active sport boy.
(4) Rosnani Ahmad is standing to my left. She shocked me when she told me that she was married to Mamat Ismail, the smart sporty boy. Now I recalled, when we were in Form Two, why she fought so hard to sit in front of me, but with clear sight to Form Three Class up stair opposite our class. In any class I always occupying the central position. From this cental position, then I could have great access to the teacher. Mamat Ismail was seated by the glass window, and he used to thrown down paper plane to our class. I thought that was a joke gesture of him, and later in 2010 Class Reunion in Bachok only I found out - a message of I love U among the two of them. She was my competitor in the Bahasa Melayu subject and even to score the best either for the class or overall. She always end up as runner up to me except for the First Term in 1973 (when we were in Form One). In our last meeting, she kept mentioning her dissatisfactory over me: "I never can beat you because of your artistic skills". During the 1972 SRP examination, I painted six pieces of painting and left out side the class for friends to pick up and put their name on. Allah gave me the great soft artistic talent then, I can sketch and paint very well. Indeed my artistic skill gave me lots of advantages not only in Form I-III, but all through my studies and carriers. I'm good at sketching my views and ideas in physical forms and even virtualization of my ideas into graphic in all of my presentations. Rosnani always beaten me in Bahasa Melayu. She swam hard and through lots of winding paths to get into the university. Both of us were Librarian and School Prefect. She was also our Class Monitor. In the Class she used to be with her good girlfriends - Siti Haizan (Ms What Happe), Maziah Omar, Asmarani and Muhayati. They were close to me due to the though characters of the Science, Mathematic and English teachers. They always looking for me to help them out on those subjects. Myself and all the boys in my class took the Industrial Arts class while the girls went to Home Science Class. Both Rosnani and Rozalan did served as guru at SM(R)K Kuala Krai. In 2010 indeed I paid a surprise visit to both of them while they were teaching.
(5) To my right is Ashaari Yunus. He was in the Agriculture Science Class then. He was a bit quite. Rarely I encountered him while in school. But at exam time, I knew he was my close academic rival. Ashaari and Rosnani were the two that I must watched on to score the overall best in school. During the 1972 mock SRP exam, Ashaari beaten me to be the best scorers. He scored lots of A grade and I got none. I preferred to score average B. My teachers and friends were hopping me to score the best, but I did not. They felt frustrated. But I have my own study strategy then. Firstly I was concern about lots of friends. Some of their parents did invited me for Nasi Dagang at their homes and there, they requested me to help out their kids whom were my close friends, to score good grade. About three months before the SRP exam, I spent lots of time with them either in the library, classroom or even the canteen to improve on
their grasp over those key subjects that could push them into better scores. One of them was Mustapha Yusuf, a superb popular naughty boy, yet a very loyal friend of mine. He was seated to my immediate right during the SRP exam. That gave me lots of leeway to "help" him out. If not mistaken he scored less than 15 aggregates, which placed him into Science Class (for about a month then kicked out to the Art stream) and got the Federal Government Scholarship. So much so, I have less time to study for my ownself. Secondly, I now believe Allah guided me not to focus on the mock Exam. I go for the real SRP performance. Thus, on the last month before the exam, I chosen to stay back at the hostel and never turn up to school except on Sunday for the School Weekly Assembly. The full one month, morning, afternoon and evening I focus to my study. Deep in my heart then, I believed I'll score the best. I did it, and I was among top five scorers in Kelantan then. Interestingly in the Warta Pendidikan Kelantan (?) my name appeared as the SM Sains Kota Bharu best student. Ashaari I think he struggled half through and not to the end. In Malay, I beaten him through the Malays' strategy of "cencaru makan petang". He further his study at Sek Men Sultan Yahya Petra, Kuala Krai then enroute to Alam Shah, Cheras to do Matriculation before entering Med Faculty in UKM. His last posting was as the Institute Paru-Paru Negara as the Ketua Pengarah and now serving the IJN as one of the lung specialist.

(6) During the visit I always made a point to visit our teachers. Chegu Mustapha Salleh was a teacher that I never failed to visit every time I came down to Kulala Krai. He stayed in Kuala Krai and all the others are now residing either in Kota Bharu or Kuala Lumpur. Chegu Mustapha, he never taught me. But his younger brother, Muhamad Zain Salleh was my other very close and loyal buddy just as Mustapha Yusuf. Muhammad Zain was a dedicated librarian just as Rosnani Ahmad. We were very close because we love reading and getting the library very neatly organized. During the weekend especially on Saturday, Chegu Mustapha and Ariffin used to organized Free Tuition Class. I didn't have to attend the class, but Muhammad Zain was compulsory to attend. There and then Muhammad Zain will coerced me to come along, and Chegu Mustapha need to fetch me at my hostel. While the tuition classes were running, I'll be at the library attending to some other friends. After class, we will then enjoying all sort of games in school. In the inserted photo, Chegu Mustapha is seated to the end of the table. We visited him at his home somewhere at Jalan Kuala Krai-Gua Musang. His wife is standing to his left. In this visit we enjoy very cheap @ RM15.00/kg Musang King which both me and Ashaari bought by the road side to his home.
(7) In our talks, I raised the issue why were we not being organized into Study Groups to tackle academic handicap among most of our colleagues then. In deed I could figure out at least 10 -15 academically outstanding students among us if were organized in such, would be able to help 100-150 students of our batch to do better. Dropped out among us then was very high. All in, then we have about 280 of us in the same 1973-975 batch. Out of these, only handful of us manage to pursue to even finishing the Form Five level. Even then (may be even now) the school didn't do talent scouting and groom us to excel based on our hidden talents.
(8) On the 4th Sept., Saturday morning, we had breakfast Nasi Dagang at Kuala Krai Lake Restaurant. Our discussion as usual when I'm around is about politic. I was having the feeling that Kuala Krai had not move fast enough. But Kuala Krai is having great potentials for being in the middle between Kota Bharu and Gua Musang. The Federal Highway will cut through Kuala Krai for Gua Musang. But as I could see, Kuala Krai is having very serious political and public leadership. I was asking: "Can't we groom up our kids to take the lead to change things". I was thinking Firdaus, Ashaari youngest son, whom now is serving the Kuching General Hospital and used to go out eating with me, as the potential candidates. He could be transfered to Kuala Krai General Hospital and we as a group to help out to promote him into politic. This then gave us the idea to form the SMK(R) Kuala Krai Alumni to get the ball rolling. We agreed to set the Committee in our after 2027 Aidul Fitri Reunion. Rosnani, Rozalan and Ashikin were tasked to get thing moving.
DISADVANTAGE SOCIETY - PUSH ME TO STAND:
On the 3th Sept., 2026 night, I was invited by Ashaari to help him out over some local kampoung development issues. His relatives and the local were having land disputes among the new comers to the village. The village was developed on communal land. Each houses was developed on lots that were communally recognized and never being surveyed or given individual land title. As time passed by, the original land owners had passed away, so the new generation are facing lots of issues wrt to the land. The kampong was developed on hap hazard basis. No proper layout was made. The roading and drainage systems are so bad and not to the Council standard so much so there was no maintenance. Rubbish collection is very unorganized and inconvenience to the settlers. Over time, I could see this kampung be a slump.
(2) He called for a discussion among the key figures in the Kampong, and they argued all the pro and contra of what each and everyone had and should do. I was quiet not to interrupt but to grasp what really the issues and chart out later what to be done based on my experienced and knowledge wrt to similar developments that I had undertaken in Sarawak since 1986-2011. Later we managed to get everybody to agree to how they should deal with the matter legally and according to the local authority requirements. All these while they had been langar dinding and having some prejudice over how the system had been treating them. Basically they were not familiar with the government requirements and what each of them should contributed. We ended the discussion around 12:00 midnight. Deep in my head, I told myself not to slow down. Too many things I must continue to struggle for the good at least for my Malays societies. Alhamdullillah the discussion did pushed me to continue to stand and walk straight.
MEETING MY M1V1 = M2V2 TEACHER:
I flew off Kota Bharu on 4th Sept late afternoon and enroute for Putera Jaya. Since my sleep and rest was not in order since 1st to 4th Sept., my body turned very uneasy and I started coughing badly. Once I got coughing and flue, there I knew my health issues will be mounting. But my brain never gave in. My travelling times nowadays was a bit limited, so in any movement I must optimize my time and resources. On the 3rd Sept,., I called Raja Hamizah, my former classmate in Nilai, Negeri Sembilan to arrange for a lunch with my physic teacher while we were in SMSAH Jitra, Kedah in 1976-77. I have longing wanted to meet him. She managed to get the teacher to travel down from Alor Star to Putera Jaya on the 4th Sept., 2026. and I arranged for him to stay at Zenith Hotel. At the same time, another 10 SMSAH schoolmates will be joining us for lunch on the 4th Sept., 2026.
(2) On arrival, Raja Hamizah came to fetch me at the airport. We then rushed to KLIA Mitsui Outlet Park for dinner to talk on the arrangement for our next day breakfast and lunch. My favorite eat out place is the Para Thai. I missed their Som Tam and Steam Sweet & Sour Squid, and sure their Thai Ice Tea. After dinner, and not to bother Hamizah too much, I just took a grab to my hotel at Putera Jaya. She drove back home to her apartment in Nilai. The next morning she came with the other teachers and we had breakfast at the Cafe by the Putera Jaya Lake.

(2) In the inserted group photo above, taken at one of the nice restaurant run by a popular Chef by the Putera Jaya Lake, the physic teacher, Chegu Chai Hock Beng is standing to my right. I was surprise to see how "small" he is now compared to when he was my teacher in 1976-77. I was thin skinny then. He was one of the author for our physic text book then and also setting the SPM questionnaires. He is now around 80+ years old. Upon retirement, he was placed at MoE in Kuala Lumpur and Putra Jaya to continue his service in developing physic teaching module. He taught us in Bahasa Melayu which then was not quite well developed as yet, so much so I was caught in lots of confusion. I normally read in English which gave me clearer explanation on the subject matters. I remember Chegu Chai to my death. In one of the session, he was struggling in explaining the concept of equilibrium using the formula of M1V1 = M2V2 which is a reaction to an action is always equal. In a simple words, once we been hard hit, we will surely hit back equally hard. Since his Malay is not good, he can't make us understand well on what he was struggling to say; so to the end we starred at him with blank eyes. His very memorable approach in trying to explain the equilibrium concept was: "He held my head, which was small then, and he knocked meagainst his "big" head". Then he explained, since his head is bigger, denoted by M1, so my small head M2 stunt backward to react to the heavy punch of his big head. V is the force of the headbutt. His V is higher since he was the one whom hit me. So since M1 > M2, and V1 > V2 so much so if M1V1 is to be equal to M2V2 and since M are two heads which can't be changed in term of size, so the V2 need to increase drastically to make M1V1 = M2V2. Thereon, after class we repeated his verily exclamation: "Ade Faham ka? Letih chegu cakap!".
(2) To my left is Nik Rahim, a Kelantanese, my buddy in the same class in deed. He in those days always in smart attire. Seated to my left by the wall. Very humble and quiet guy. The two of us always being together in many aspect of our socialization. He was Proton Engineer in Shah Alam Office and graduated from UTM Skudai.
(3) Muhammad Sabery, also a Kelantanese, is to the left of Nik Rahim. He travelled all the way from Kota Bharu for this meet Chegu Chai. In the class he was seated to my left one point at my back. Mohammad Sabery is a very studious guy. He never lost his smile in whatever sense. He is good in Add Math. We used to exchanged our homework on the subject. He was generous in sharing his knowledge. He graduated as Civil Engineer also from UTM Skudai, and head one of the JKR office. I was shock to know that he is having very deep admiration of what Mahathir had been doing for Malaysia. We are in the same political wave length except he has lots of reserve over PAS capabilities.
(4) Raja Hamizah was also my classmate then. In my batch, she was considered a red spot girl. She seated just in front of me. In our class, we have 25 boys and 5 girls. Raja Hamizah was one of them. She was the only school prefect from our class. The 25 boys were all 'selected high SRP achiever boys" coming from Kelantan (all the top five Kelantanese including myself was in the same class), Perak, Kedah, Penang and Selangor. I was the only Sarawakian -"Kelantanese" in the class. Raja Hamizah and the other 4 girls were brought into this wild boys class when we were in Form Five. All was Muzaffar Tate, our Pengetua strategy to tame us down. All of us were naughty boys then. Raja Hamizah didn't do well in her SPM. But she never gave up her struggle and end up graduating as a teacher from UPM and up to Nazir Sekolah where she served in Kuching Education Hq Office in 2009-11. She is a nice polite lady. Cute as well. The other two ladies to Raja Hamizah left, I can't recalled. They were said were former SMSAH teachers whom came after I left in 1979.
(5) To the far left is Mazlan (Datuk), he was not in my class but of the same batch. A Penang guy. Graduated as Medical Doctor from MU. In 2018 election he stood against Nurul Izzah for Permatang Pauh GE14 under PAS. I pledged to help him all out if in the next GE16 he stand in Permatang Pauh to take on Anwar Ibrahim.
(6) Right to Mazlan is Ibrahim Donglah, a Kelantanese. We were classmate. He graduated as engineer from UTM. Now a business man residing in Nilai.
(7) Omar Mat Piah is to Ibrahim left. He was also my classmate. He came form Perak. Omar is good in Physic and Aljeebra. He was seated behind me. We used to study together in Physic and AlJeebra then was called Hisab Biasa. He graduated as IT person from MU and served NIOSH. He now reside in Putra Jaya.
(8) To the right of Chegu Chai is Tajuddin. He is from Kedah. He was not from my class but we used to cross each others. He then was a very jovial person. He is also an engineer and now doing some contractual works.
I'M BACK:
On the 2nd Oct., 2026 I flew to Kota Kinabalu. I was tasked to face the multi-state-agencies to defend our Public-Private Funding Initiatives (PFI) proposal. It was tough. Nonetheless with Allah blessing based on our genuine and sincere intent, I managed to get the proposal through in principal. Now I have a month period to crystalize all the comments and views wrt the Proposal and to come back for the last round discussion and approval. All our consultants are now gearing to detailing our Proposal.
(2) While everybody was busy doing their works, I took off to my Kampong and made myself busy with my farm. This month of Oct., 2026 my target is to get 100 seedlings of Limau Manis & Madu planted. It was done by 14th Oct.2026. Thus far I had planted about 450 points of Limau Manis & Limau Madu. I just need another 50 more to complete my 500 points target. In Shaa Allah by end of Nov., 2026 all those will be accomplished. Rain begin to pour accordingly and I could see my plants are growing vigorously. In Shaa Allah the climate will change to the much favourable in months ahead.

(3) In view of certain technical details that need to be finalised wrt our Development Proposals in Kota Kinabalu, so on the 17-21th Oct., 2026 I led our technical consultants to check on every needed aspects of the Project. Despite I had been in and out of KK since 2023, I had not spent time to appreciate KK the way I used to do in 1980s-2000s. In this visit I make my time to explore my favorite place - the Gaya Street Sunday Market. I took the late Saturday Night and very early Dawn Sunday stroll the Gaya Street. There I found all those that interest me ie the exotic plants of Sabah - their avocado, wild durians, wild orchids and all sort of many others. In this trip I managed to get the Bolo-Bolo (tampui Sabah), their typical Avocado and Red Dalit Durian. I bought one Red Dali Durian seedling and do my normal way in how to take the plant out. I succeeded and I invited my good Sabah friend to come over my kampong in 20 Oct., 2031 In Shaa Allah to harvest the first fruit. Alhamdullilah now I can see all my laziness will have no time be close around me. My mind will push all part of my body to reactivate as Ibnu Sina had been saying: "All is about your mind".
One saying I keep telling to myself: "Get focus to your genuine and sincere destiny, then pray to Allah; nothing will block you".
Kuching-Putera Jaya-Kota Kinabalu
15-21 Oct, 2026