A 25 YEARS LITTLE FOOT STEPS......

On this day , 1 Oct., about 25 years ago, (1986) in that very early morning I walked passing by my grandfather abandoned old home which was built after he married my grandmother, days before the Samurai landed in Kuching, which I believe, was during the James Brooke rein of Sarawak. The old house was deep hidden among the old rubber trees and creepers which had taken over as the tenants. The house and the five acres of rubber land were indeed sold to a China man at a price of P1, 000.00 (I used denomination letter P to symbolise the Banana (Pisang)-marked Japanese Currency used at that time). The home and land was sold in view of fear of the Japanese threat to my grandfather’s family members especially my then little mother.

(2) From the Japanese days until early 2000s, the land had not been developed due to rumour that the place was haunting. At times, crying sounds were heard, of which I would say, in fact were our family crying souls, regretting the sale of the land due to the Japanese cruelty, we had to part with such a strategic heritage. Today, a nice private badminton and futsal complex had been put in place on the site. Arang Road, 4th Mile of Kuching-Penrisen Road, was my ancestral landing place after their out migration from the misery of the Dutch colonalization of Surakarta (Solo), Palembang and Riau, Indonesia.

(3) Today (14 Sept., 2010), which coincide with my eight anniversary being in the current position, I choose to start writing this article from my once isolated Village, a place where I was born, a place where I start my schooling, and a place which received me back as a young graduate in June 1984, where thereon, I began to dream for two years four months on how I should be of great asset to the societies, a Village called Terasi which was derived from the same Javanese word for Prawn Paste, Belacan in Malay. Terasi smell bad, but a great appetizer. Terasi, belacan or prawn paste is an appetizer for the Malays communities be it in Thailand (South), Cambodia (Cham), Malaysia, Indonesia, Brunei, and even in the Southern Philippines. With Terasi, my grandparents opened this Village together with all his buddies that crossed over from Java, Celebes, Kalimantan, and Sumatera.

(4) This article is a collection of my working memories and some thought that might be useful to those whom may want to pick up some, as their guide in the life long journey ahead. I hope my writing would also fit into what the Malays saying: setajam-tajam mata keris, tajam lagi mata pena! I’m not going to touch on the details of recent eight years in service particularly in my current position due to some business sensitivity and various uncertainties. I would be more comfortable to do such probably in the next two years time, when lots of things had materialised as planned and intended.

(5) At a nearby bus stand, I took the numbered 4D Green Mini-Bus of Sarawak Transport Company (STC) to Down Town. Later, I took a connected bus, the Chin Lian Liong (CLL) to the Secretariat Building (Wisma Bapa Malaysia: WBM) at Petra Jaya. Firstly I went over to a guy name, En Basri Jack who was the Chief Clerk at the Establishment Office (EO) who signed my offer letter. Upon seeing the offer letter, he immediately made an acclaim that I might had missed my career since the letter requested me to report on 1 June, 1986, but I only turned up on 1 Oct., 1986. After going through the files, he made a smile to me: “You go to Level 14 (was in fact Level 13, and due to superstitious was renumbered to 14!), and report yourself to the State Planning Unit (SPU). You are very lucky we had not replaced your position with someone else. Anywhere you are losing your four months seniority”, he said hurrying me out.

(6) In fact I received the appointment letter as the Sarawak Administrative Officer (SAO), the Sarawak State Service, on the middle of May. Unfortunately, the Parliamentary Election was just around the corner, and Tuan Hj Bujang Ulis who was the incumbent of the area, whom at that point in time was the Federal Deputy Minister of Education, whom had helped me alot during my student day union activities, seeking for re-election. My uncle, Amran Salleh, whom was the Parti Bumiputera Bersatu (PBB) Youth Exco member seek my assistance to help out with the Election Campaign in those Longhouses in Ulu Simunjan (now covered under the TH Semalatong and KTS Simunjan NCR Projects) and those Villages (now under Ladang Rakyat and Sejahtera Projects) at the Coast. Without really understanding of the consequent of my offer letter reporting deadline, I just took the assignment given by my uncle to help out at the election.

(7) This is a clear sign, how a Kampung Boy, despite being very much educated, was very naive of the various formality and the steep competition of the modern urban life. Under normal circumstances, I may had lost what I suppose to get; due to my ignorance, the boat may had sailed far ahead leaving me without a clue. Nonetheless, it is probably purely of my luck (Allah will) that I managed to carry on with my life, under the hidden guidance of Allah. In this sense, I believe, my fate for not being denied from fulfilling the SAO position despite the lapse over the deadline must have something to do with my kid days ambition of wanting to be a DO (District Officer) and my deep feeling to work for the poor, the disadvantage, the marginalise.

(8) Upon reaching the SPU, I passed my offer letter to one of the clerk who was in charge of the establishment matters, i.e. sdra Wan Aidul Fitri. Since the Department head was not around I was shown to my room on the North Wing. No assignment was given to me. I really don’t know what to do. The whole day, under the cold air conditioned, I starred at the far distance Mt. Santubong. Deep in my head and chest, I recollected that Mt. Santubong is the landmark that had guided my grand fathers, Manan and Othman to take refuge to this Land of the Hornbill in those Wild Wild East days.

(9) On the second day, my second big boss, Dr. Hatta Solhee (Datu) returned from his travelling. I was introduced to him. He asked me few basic questions such as my degree, my professional interest, and my place of origin. As a botanist, a rural folk, with no knowledge of a civil service, since none of my relatives managed to gain entry good position in the civil service except one as Court Peon and the other PWD daily paid laborer, I just told him that I love to see how our rural and the agriculture sector should be developed. With such, he assigned me to work under the Agriculture and Rural Development Planning Division. As the first assignment, and since I was blank on socio-economic planning, I was asked to go to the Department’s Library and to read all those documents being archived there.

(10) The SPU Director at that time was Jamil Mukmin (Datuk Dr.) a Negeri Sembilan guys whom was a Federal Servive (PTD) officer seconded to help to built the SPU. I found out he is a very quite man, didn't talk much, he has courage, but he knew how to get thing done through all his subordinates and others. His Public Relation with all level of government officials, I would say superb. I used to be shown around by him to those critical Federal Central Agencies official on accompanying him in his officials visits.

(11) I felt a bit lucky in fact, later I found out that sdra Ubaidillah Abdul Latip, who was my senior at Universiti kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) was the Principal Assistant Secretary (PAS) of the Division. Weeks later I consulted him on my real assignment, and his reply: “You are smart man, just try to think what is good for the State!” Sdra Ubaidillah mentoring of me didn’t last longs since couple of months later he went for his further study and thereon transferred to be a District Officer of Lawas.

(12) Without really knowing what he meant, either joking or being serious, I just went back to my room with pile of documents to read and go through. My heart in fact ‘filled with lots of annoyment. I remembered, when my cousin, Mariah Hj. Marican passed me the offer letter few months earlier, and at a family dinner, when I told my grandmother that I got the SAO job, all of the family members were so happy, and remind me of my promised to my mother that one day I will be a District Officer (DO). With such an appointment, all of them were expecting me to really serve the State the best. Here am I, being an SAO, doing nothing, but just reading. I was saddened in deed.

(13) About a month later, I took the courage to knock on my Big Boss’s Office, and sit down ‘kampungly’ in front of him and asked him of what I should be doing. I said, I can’t be just sitting around, reading and doing nothing. I felt guilty. To my surprised, his reply was simple: “In this Office, we can’t ask what we should be doing. Just think what you can do for the State”. He sounded like Abraham Lincoln to me: "Don’t ask what your country can do for you, but ask what you can do for your country! Basically in Malay: "Tepuk dada tanya selera!"

(14) Again I walked out of his room, with my head fallen low, my heart pounding hard, regretting of doing nothing and yet I was paid. My grandfather advice to me earlier on: “Jangan makan gaji buta”, which literally means “don’t get paid for doing nothing”, flooded my head and my heart. Worst, every time back home at my uncle Bujang’s place at Jalan Arang, after dinner he would always asked me: “What are you doing today?” When he heard that I was just reading, he simple looks puzzled and said: “Civil servants, they just reading. Makan gaji buta. No wonder the State is not progressing fast!” That statement really annoyed me alot.

(15) As months passed by, I got a new immediate boss ie William Jitab, and he dragged me to join lots of meeting. In most of the duties, he just remind me: "Do your homework!". My duties initially was to make sure all meetings preparations were well organised especially the chairs, sitting arrangement, white board, markers, papers, related files and documents, and refreshments. I have to make sure the list of attendance is well recorded and those invited are well received. During the meeting I have to take notes. In preparing the notes, I have to be very well verse with all the details of Projects and subject matters being discussed. Notes are short, precise, and provide sufficient substances to be well understood by the readers. All meeting notes were to be passed over to the relevant seniors within three days after the meeting before distribution to all the attending parties. Though those disciplines sound very English, but I believe those were the practices that made the English great, starting with the State of England later expanded to Great Britain. They are thorough, they are well organised! Later, as we all know, they conquered and continue to dominate the world!

(16) In fact I was fast to learn on how to manage a meeting. Before any meeting or during my spare times, I used to dig up the files and really going through all the previous minutes of the related subjects. By such, I would have a good grasp of the issues to be discussed. Accordingly, during the meeting I would made serious observation on how the various chairperson guides the meeting. I would follow all his movement, his gesture, and all his actions in the conduct of the meeting from the moment he entered the meeting room until he later left. Equally important, I would also seriously observe and mentally be active to follow how the members would put across and articulate their arguments. Most important, I work hard to really understand the underlying facts and reasoning, succinct or implied, from all the statements made. Those were very tough jobs, especially when the members were engaged in long winding or even in some side tracking issues or subjects.

(17) I would say, doing our homework is very important in whatever conduct that we need to execute. Definitely, we always argued that we don’t have much time to do so, but we must be able to see the immediate benefit of having doing the homework. Equally important, though we might not be the chairperson of a meeting, but being an efficient secretary would also help alot especially when the chairperson himself is not efficient. I used to remind the chairperson (both verbally or even passing small notes) on decision to be made, the deadline, who to do what, resource allocation, etc. Even if we are not the chairperson or secretary of the meeting, we still could be of great help for being a good intermediary or mediator. I admired those who really can shape the meeting into a real fruitful ones: Hamid Bugo (Tan Sri), Chin Jew Bui (Datu), Teo Thien Hiong, Dr. Abdillah Aton, Baijuri Kipli (Datu), Wan Ali Yubi (Datuk), Abang Hilmi Ehwan Zaini (Datu), Tajjudin Junaidi, Joseph Ting, Joseph Kong (Datuk), John Tan (Datu), Abdul Rashid Aziz (Datu), Wilson Baya Dandot (Datuk Amar), Noraini Hj Husein (Datin), Masbah Ariffin (Datu), Siti Zaharah Sulaiman (Datin) and Sutin Sahmat were among those that I really observed closely when they began to say their minds. They can be very open, sometimes calculative, sometime fiery, sometimes jovial, sometime hard headed. But normally I reminded myself not to get lost in their arguments, but to remain focus to get to the relevant points.

(18) I believe, those were great training opportunities where I learned to listen, think, and understand fast. Basically, I have to read their minds fast, and that I believe, how I trained (pushed) myself for speed thinking!

(19) After couple of months later, I was assigned to undertake Socio-economic Survey on the resettlement of the Villages: Teluk Simpor, Sg Aur, Santin, Loba Balu, Sibu Laut, and Trombol which were isolated on the coast of Rambungan to a place called Telaga Air on the North West of Kuching. These were fishing villages and especially during the draught period, they would be cut-off of drinking water supplies, while during the monsoon period, they would be facing food cut-off. The Government intend to develop a Model Village at Telaga Air for their resettlement, and I have to do social research to find their socio-economic benchmark and development perception. Today if one visit this Telaga Air, a special “Telaga Air with six corners-roofed Gazebo” to symbolize the original six (seven) villages that made up the existing Telaga Air was erected as part of the overall Telaga Air Esplanade development (Kg. Mersan was added to the list, but originally, that Village was not covered).

(20) With the assistance of few friends: Mazlan, Anthony, etc from the Socio-economic Research Unit (SERU) and State Development Office (SDO) of the Prime Minister’s Office, I was introduced to stages of Socio-economic Questionnaires development and latter procedures on conducting the research. I was fortunate in fact, during my Botanical classes, one of my favourite subject was Plant Ecology. In Ecology, we were trained to observe the Plant Ecological Profile and Succession Process stretching from the seashore to high up in the mountain. Quadrate and representative random sampling system were employed in selecting the population. The discipline in fact was to classify the plants into various categories and thereon to analyse their living requirements and behaviour. With such academic background and natural interest I quickly managed to comprehend the Socio-economic Research Methodology smoothly.

(21) At that point in time, I have a senior colleague, Jayl Langgup who was working on the Belaga Model Village specifically for the Penan Community. His idea of the Penan Model Village was modelled along the Bisoshpere Conservation Concept, whereby, in lots of meeting, and in order to convince the meeting, he used to point to me as the Botanist for the endorsement of his idea on the feasibility of such concept for the Penan. The Bisosphere Concept is basically creating an Ecological Environment (sphere) as a meant to preserve the originality of a Natural Habitat. The concept emulates, the Core (central place) which locates the Centre Habitat of the Species under conservation or protection, buffered against any intrusion with a rim of Natural Buffer Zone. Thus the idea was to keep the Penan within the Centre of a Natural Forest Ecosystem, free from logging or extensive farming and hunting, with miles of Buffer Zones which are characterised by low rate of logging, farming and hunting (fishing). The notion was to give the Penan their natural habitat as they are and wish. The other senior people in the SPU: Chin Jew Bui (Datu), Teo Tien Hiong, Jaul Samion (Datu), Hjh Noraini (Datin), Ubaidillah Latip, Masbah Arrifin (Datu), argue alot over his idea, but to this day Jayl (now a lecturer at UNIMAS) still fighting for the breakthrough of his Bisosphere for the Penan.

(22) Definitely some, especially among the anthropologists or even the sociologists, the Penan would never be a Penan if their roaming culture is not preserve. Same goes with some conservationist NCR land, if the land are well commercialised, the Iban in particular would lost their root! The Australian Aborigine or even the American Red Indian natural settlements environment probably influence them alot. But how did the New Zealand treated their Maoris? I believe, the main issue probably not really on the conservation issue, but more on how how the welfare of the Penan should be safeguard or even how their lives style be transformed.

(23) In relation to Telaga Air Model Village, the idea was to resettle the villages out of the mangrove area, making them accessible to greater development opportunities, while conserving the Mangrove Area for their fishing and low rate bakau extraction activities. At the same time, at the Federal level, Dr. Mahathir Mohammed, the Prime Minister was not happy upon his visit to those dirty Kuala Perlis and Kuala Kedah. He then, as usual Mr. Mahathir, loves to introduce new ideas in his administration, thus he mooted the Halacara Baru Pembangunan Luar Bandar, which emulates the Sameul Undong of the Korean rural development philosophy.

(24) From these conflicting of development perceptions between the target population, the civil servants and the political masters, then I began to understand the little but great challenged put on me by my Immediate Boss, sdra Ubaidillah and Big Boss, Dr. Hatta Solhee: “You are smart enough to think for the State!” Later I began to recalled, Allah challenged to His men and women, in many of His verses: “ Don’t you think...!” Through encouragement by Dr. Hatta Solhee and of course with lots of pushed by the then State Secretary, Hamid Bugo (Tan Sri), the State civil servants were guided to read books written by Edward De Bono. In fact Edward De Bono is the Guru of the Art of Thinking just like Peter Drucker as the Guru of Management.

(25) Based on the Socio-economic findings, and analysis (assisted by Sujang Damu, an economist), then I began to realise that, the Model Village or the Biosphere were not the best option for these Telaga Air resettled villages. I began to walk for the answer. Nobody could guide me. Everybody seems to say: “Why don’t you think hard!” Therefore, I began my journey to China, Korea, Taiwan, America, Philippines, Thailand, Indonesia, and even to some of the Latin America and African countries. I read lots of comparative studies on rural development initiatives undertaken in those countries. I began to get to know the World Bank, the Asian Development Bank and the African Development Bank.

(26) All these made me realised the need for me to pick up Economic Development Planning fast. The subjects of Economic, Development, and Planning definitely were beyond my Botanical discipline. Even worst, I was really fanatic about Malay Language. I don’t like to speak and write in English. My fundamental and tertiary academic foundation was in Malay, and I was so proud of being Malay-educated. But everybody in SPU speaks and writes in English. I was the ‘only one’ who put my head up for Malay language.

(27) By sticking my head for the Malay language, no body seem to know what I was talking or struggling about. The best that I was useful to them was when come to dealing with the Federal Central Agencies when their documents needed to be translated into Malay. I was sort of a Walking Kamus Bahasa. Other than that, they seem to force me to be fluent in English. I took their challenge for the good of the State i.e. to get my ideas through! I have to have a correct medium of communication! I promised to myself to be equated with good simple English. I began to read English papers aloud. I sang English songs. I listened and followed English News casting on Radios and Televisions. I took a great courage to speak in English though was not perfect and I let everybody to correct me. I start writing in English, though initially was just a Rojak English! I believe, despite not going into formal English class, I managed to improve in a year or so.

(28) Here, it is very important to note that, having a goal in our head is one thing, but realising the goal is another thing. As far as the Malay language is concern, my idea was simple. I believe, lots of things were not well understood by the majority Malays (especially the rural Malays) because we don’t really communicate all those things in a language and style that they can understand. Take the term: berubah, beranjak, membangun, etc every Malay worldwide even those far up in Kapit or Kuala Balah, Gua Musang, would know the meaning of such words. But once, we start using the term transformasi, definitely only those Malays who know English would be able to comprehend the meaning of such word.

(29) Nonetheless, I need to change my strategy, keeping my ‘Malays fanatism’ when dealing with the rural Malays but need to adapt to the acceptable medium of communication to get my ideas through as and when I’m dealing with the much affluent societies. The Malays proverb: Lain padang, lain belalang; Lain gendang lain tarinya, etc applied. Even, Prophet Muhammad SAW had recognised the fact that for the Moslem to be great, they even have to take their journey to China and learn from there. Moslem learning from non-Moslem (Chinese) to be a great Moslem!

(30) Through reading on development books, and analysing the Government Policies, later I proposed Telaga Air be developed along the Mini-regional Development Plan. Both settlement plan and the socio-economic development components must be well prepared. Fortunately, my other Big Boss, who was the head for Department of Development (DoD), Wan Shamsuddin Wan Ismail, a Trengganu guy, was deeply interested in the development of Telaga Air. The Programme later been called Rural Growth Center (RGC) and I was involved in initiating and managing the Feasibility Studies to create several of such development covering: Gedong, Beladin, Padawan, Bruit-Tekajong, Awat-Awat-Sundar, and Nanga Spak apart from Telaga Air. With the changed of the DoD head to Dr. Nik Ibrahim Nik Mahmood (Datuk), a Kelantanese, he seems to have equal sentiment over Telaga Air as Wan Shamsuddin. Both of them come from fishing-based community, thus they understand the plight of the poor fishermen. I worked closely with these two fine senior officials to their retiring period.

(31) Wan Shamsuddin in fact touch me alot. Even to the last minutes of his retiring period, he still worked and gave his last command. He was a quiet, soft, firm person. The poor seem to be always in his heart. And due to my great admiring of his working spirit, working hard to get funds to assist the poor, the disadvantages. I even emulate how he walk, and usually I teased my colleagues by making his walking sound in front of their doors especially when they have 'borak time in their room', to silence them off! My favorite of him was: "Be thourough" in what ever we are dealing.

(32) Unfortunately, when come to the real Village Layout Plan preparation, I believe, the Planner at the Land and Survey Department couldn’t really comprehend the findings of the Socio-economic Study, while at that same time, I myself was not able to influence on how such findings should be used to draw the Plan. Thus, the issue of target group income structure was not been given due consideration, which to this day alot of them were given housing plots that need huge dumping works which was very costly. Their immediate source of income was also not well addressed. Thus, the poverty backdrop, till this day had not changed much.

(33) Lately I was tasked to relook at the Project, and with the strong support of the Government, now the Project is being steered into one of the prime fisheries-based tourism area. I hope by 2013, Telaga Air would be greatly linked to the rest of the Kuching Tourism Development Plan. Sport fishing is now getting very popular here.

(34) Here, I would prove how continuous rethinking (questioning) and doing lots of homework really helps us to do even better job the better way. We must always remember, as long as we remain human being, there is nothing perfect about our work. There is always room for improvement, and we must have the courage to change and work hard for the change. Being complacent and easily being satisfied would always take us one step backward!.

(35) Along the way, I need to help my immediate boss alot. In 1986-1990, SPU in fact was the Coordinator of the Kalaka-Saribas and Samarahan Integrated Agriculture Project (IADP). Since the Project were funded through loan (ADB and Federal), stringent monitoring had to be undertaken. Accordingly, the acceptance of the people to the Projects in fact was very poor. Rashid Aziz (Datu) and Wilson Baya Dandot (Datuk Amar) were the two pioneer directors of the Project. Personalities such as Dannys Lang of SALCRA (Datu), Lim Heok Hwa of DID, Lim Swee King of PWD, Paul Ritom, and Lawrence Tsu of L&S were among those that had played big role in support for the success of the Project. The State 1987 political turmoil really put all the officers in real hot soup in dealing with the Projects.

(36) I myself have to frequent to the ground to help out in campaigning for the Project among the people. In those days, the Kuching, especially the road stretch from Batu Lintang to Saratok was just been developed, but with ‘poor technology’, thus at many times our car got stuck in the mud, or get into very dusty during the sunny days. In those days, very limited cars were with aircon. Usually I depart from Kuching around 7.00 am and arrived in Saratok around 9.00 pm, and usually landed with Maggie mee dinner with my young friend Hasnu Mohd Noor. Along the way, we need to make frequent stopover to clear ourselves of the dust that colored our hairs and dress. I figured out, how much dust accumulated into my lungs when making all those journeys.

(37) For Samarahan IADP, I used to accompany the officers especially Zainal Azwa (Datuk, now CEO of TH Plantation) and Roslawati Md Noor to travel by boats to places such as Tambirat, Beliong, Sembilang, Beradek, and Mang. Sometimes we had to stay till into the evening to wait for the next tide to be able to come back. Those were the days, where dedication and determination really demanded out of us.

(38) All these exposures with ground level Project implementations slowly developed my ability both to think and plan for lots more development initiatives at the later stages. The plight of the poor, the disadvantage, and marginalised becoming strongly succinct into my brain that made me need to learn and move even faster. Slowly I believe, I entered the world of workaholic!

(39) In 1987, the National Economy was not doing well. Graduate unemployment problem began to swell. Dr. Nik Ibrahim called me to look at the possibility to develop a program to absorb these unemployed graduates. I knew nothing, but one day I glanced into an article in the national news paper that the Government was organizing a Graduate Farmers Programme not only to address the unemployment issues but as well as the Food Shortage and Huge Food Importation problem.

(40) I felt guilty if I can't help those graduates. Most of them were poor rural boys whom their parents may have lost (mortaged) their lands just to get these young people to be educated. I have lots of poor graduate colleagues who come from such States as Sarawak, Sabah, Kelantan, Kedah, Perlis, Trengganu and Pahang.

(41) I proposed a Graduate Farming Scheme. My target was the Idle Drainage and Irrigation (DID) Schemes all through the State. All these schemes were supposed to impact excellent socio-economic gain to the local, nonetheless, from my observation, all these schemes were just benefiting the contractors and related suppliers. The idea was to get these schemes to be managed by unemployed graduate who will be developed into modern farming entrepreneurs. They were to provide management expertise while the local to participate by allowing their land to be commercially developed. They then have to share the profit. They would be assisted accordingly. The Scheme was accepted, and the Ministry of Land under the leadership of Wan Ali Yubi (Datuk), took up to be the implementing agency with a start in Gedong, Simunjan. Fortunately, later the National Economy recovered fast, the Program was put on hold, but now being implemented as FELCRA Mini-Estate.

(42) My selection of Gedong was in fact very sentimental. In December, 1972, at the age of 12 years old, on my way to pursue for my Study in Peninsular Malaysia, I have to go through Gedong to en route for Kuching. With my dad and some friends, we took the motor launch from Simunjan to this Gedong. The normal sea going passage was not accessible due to bad weather and rough sea. At that time Gedong was also affected badly by flooding, and I could see the villages there were very naive and really not developed. From that moment, the memory of poor Gedong stuck in my mind, and I sort of making a small promise to come back and lend my hands to improve the situation.

(43) In developing the Graduate Farming Program I came into lots of difficulties. My economic, social, regional development planning, management, and financial understanding were still very poor. All the terminologies that I used couldn’t be properly comprehend by the readers especially the senior officials. Many times my papers were thrown out, and to the level almost made me frustrated, and give up to the writing. But by god willing, my promise to my mom, and reminders by my relatives for me to serve the State well, kept my spirit fuelling. In doing the papers, and seeing my fighting spirit, Dr. Hatta introduced me to Dr. Abdillah Aton who was the Senior Assistant General Manager of Land Custody and Development Authority (LCDA).

(44) Dr. Abdillah in fact introduced me to some economic books. It was tough initially, and I made an effort to start with all the basics through reading the Form Six economic text books. Fortunately, when in school, I love Mathematic especially those involving derivative and differentiation. My understanding of those disciplines and couple with my good comprehension of the Dynamic Mathematic enable me to quickly understand all those issues raised in the Economic text book. I used to have early breakfast with Dr. Abdillah at the Car Park Canteen of Wisma Bapa Malaysia. I took our breakfast meetings to raise Socio-economic Development issues with him and he seems having the passion to guide me on how to go about in handling all those.

(45) Today, with my existing position I have the chance to revisit the Program, and had managed to change the development concept of these idle land in the DID areas into Ladang Rakyat whereby, the total economy of the related Villages will be developed, and they are being steered into greater entrepreneurship development. The development package had been bundled in such that the people would not only to benefit from the agriculture production, but they must also hold equity in the processing, and thus trading and other related support services. With such approach, I believe, the rural folks would not be continuously trapped into the Poverty Vicious Circle. In this case I have to work hard to get both the private and public sector to agree to the ideas. Now places such as Beladin, Pusa, Lawas, Batang Lupar, and soon Samarahan-Asajaya would also be tackled along the same development model.

(46) Now I’m rethinking to model all the Native Customary Right (NCR) development Projects along the same principle on phasing basis. With such an effort, I believe the rural entrepreneurship could be well guided and nurtured. This is an upheaval task since the private sector as the investor would love to maximise their profit while on the other hand, the landowners would want their handsome share. My immediate solution to this is to continue to talk on the need for nation building among the investors; i.e they must play their great role and sacrifice for the good of the nation, the long term future generation welfare, while on the people side, they need to be persuaded to be more patience. This is not an easy talking business, indeed!

(47) My association with FELCRA, the Federal land development agency could be tracked way back in the early days of my service. I was lucky to have FELCRA officers such as Muis, Adam Mahbob, Azmi, and many others who were very sympathetic of the State socio-economic backwardness. I used to travelled and initiated lots of Projects with these officials: Igan, Matu, Daro, Sri Aman, Sekuau, Belimbing, Samarahan, Asajaya, and many others. Now my association with FELCRA is on a much formal basis, ie through the Special Vehicle called Ladang Rakyat Sdn Bhd. I hope with such an approach, greater socio-economic gainfull impacts could be generated.

(48) My other prime duties in those early days in SPU were to collect, compile and collate Agriculture Statistic. I was fortunate since the Management Assistants such as Madeline Indi, Yong Siat Phong, and Rogayah Sami were very helpful to teach me on how to use the Computer. In those days, computer runs on DOS and every action will be based on strong memory of commands. By compiling all these statistics I began to befriend lots of other senior civil servants from the various Ministries and Agencies. Some of them were very helpful, and some were very nasty. Names such as Churchill Lawi, Jiram Sidu, Vincent Eng, Chua Teck Kheng, Hafiz Kadiron, Sia Yiu Liong, John Tan (Datu), Foong Kha Nim, and many others were among my close associates in gathering all those data base. Later my data collection expanded into the Mapping and Remote Sensing fields. All these collection and analysis expanded my knowledge on Regional and Natural Resources Development Planning.

(49) With all such facts and figures under my controled, I began to see the macro-cross regional perspective of the Rural and Agriculture Development of the State. As the challenge: “Think for the State”, continues to linger fast in my head, then with all those development gaps that I have analysed, I then need to look for solutions to the problem of slow economic growth of the State rural sector. I have no others source since all the senior staff were busy with their respective assignments, but to turn to the library and start going in depth into those my Form Four and Five Geography subject. Canada, New Zealand, Australia, and America became my points of reference. I made lots of comparative analysis on the agriculture development of these countries. There I found out the role of Commercial and Plantation development approach as the main course for the excel of the agriculture sector.

(50) I would say, the advantage of reading and thinking alot really had changed me drastically. Not only, I was 'well exposed' to the outer world, but most important, I gained alot of knowledges on how to plan and manage lots of community-based development. That the supremacy of Allah, when He bestowed the first order to Muhammad SAW, He ordered him to read...and most important, when I read a book by Taufiq Marzuki, and Indonesian writer, he said, we can find lots of good writters, but very rare we can find a good reader. What he meant by good reader, is what Edward De Bono termed as proacytive reader. He read, he understand, he can explain in his simple word, and he get those word into action! I believe, Muhammad SAW was such a person: he read all those verses transcended to him, understand them, preached them, and surely practiced them. Thus, why are most Moslem not taking a clue from all these?

(51) In the 1980s and early 1990s, the private sector participation in agriculture development had not been very active in Sarawak. The private sector were still complacent with the lucrative timber industries, but thing changed drastically after mid 1990s, when timber resources becoming depleting and the global price for timber products began to dip-down, where thereon, oil palm plantation development began to gain speed. At the same time, rural poverty issue was still the main topic debated both by the civil servants and politicians. Poverty related Programs and Projects were very popular and to certain extend could be very emotional to some quarters.

(52) In those early days of my service, I used to visit lots of Projects within the Agriculture and Rural related sector. All my visits normally made in a team of various agencies. We travelled by all means: seas, rivers, logging tracks, muddy roads, and in some cases, instead of the boats carried us up river, we have to push the boat instead. With the presence of these officials, gave me the opportunities to ask and learn the details of the Projects: technical, financial, social, and even political. I kept lots of records of my visits as well as providing related reports to my immediate bosses. I used to have my critiques and suggestions over some of these Projects. One thing for sure, all these visits ( a form of homework in fact) and records made my job becoming much easier especially since over the years I have been tasked to examine all those Rural-agro related Projects.

(53) I remember in one of the meeting, i.e. in examining the 6MP ( Sixth Malaysia Plan) proposals, when I began to voice out my findings and critiques of the over funding of a particular Project in one of a rural village (now this same Village had been covered by one of the Sebungan NCR Project) while the poverty eradication impact was very marginal, the senior official who was very instrumental about the Project accused me of not having empathy with the rural poor and making my remarks merely from my personal biasness: “You young people (while pointing finger at me and I was about 26 years old by then), you don’t simply criticise this Project without you really appreciating how hard and poor the livelihood of these people are!”

(54) I didn’t take his attack on me as personal. Months later, I joint him for tea break. I took the attitude of not avoiding him (though most of the younger ones did as such), but get to know and began to discuss lots of formal matters in a very informal way with him. We later, and to this day remain friend, but still remain fiery! His pet Project, in fact, three years later was abandoned due to both technical and marketing problems.

(55) Here, I do learnt, facing a hungry lion, would not necessarily get ourselve killed, but scarily chickening away, would probably caused our broken neck! It is an art to get ourselves equally (intelectually) to such a person, and that art give us all the courage even to face a greater fiery person! In fact during my student days, I pushed myself for such and among those that I have argued was Dr. Mahathir Mohammed, in 1982 merely a year after he was appointed as the Prime Minister. My challenge to him at that time was: "Why must civil servant used Batik on Thursday (as his order to help local industry). Are you not trying to make them look like UMNO people because those were the people used to put on Batik when there were UMNO's functions? Accordingly, when they put up that smart Batik attire, they tend to be very cautious of their movement for not wanting their Batik get wrinkle. Thus, though we may increase sale of Batik, but we reduced the national productivity? Why not just let Batik be remain 'holy' and to be used only for special function!"

(56) In those days, it is normal for us to have fiery discourses, either for the real good course or otherwise, but all those made us (the young chicos) able to think fast and be matured to judge the situations. All those characters, in fact were expected when we have lots of inspiring seniors whom wanting to climb fast up the ladder. The ways those seniors interact with each other sometimes served as a good lesson as well as fun to observe.

(57) In those young days, I used to join the senior officials for tea and even lunch at WBM canteen. It is in fact a different learning experience to be around at these seniors gets together. The way they joke, making fun of each others, their laugh, even arguing over critical issues, their table manners, their body language and all sorts made me able to learn an informal ways to handle alot of things later in the much formal avenues. There are instances I been ridicule, but I took them as a learning process. Sometimes I took the courage to invite my seniors for the drinks just to build my confidence in many more things that I have to face in my formal duties. Basically, I pushed myself hard to build my courage and confident to be with those at the higher echelon, and this really had benefited me alot to this day.

(58) Here it is very important for us to know our key weaknesses to success. As a person who came from the Kampung, there are lots of ‘inferior feelings’ that I must overcome. Firstly, as a traditional Javanese ‘feudalist’ brought up kid, I was always being taught to have high respect to the elders to the extent that such respect turn into ‘fear’,submissive or even passive’. I need to break through all those barriers. The answer to this is, I must have courage. To have courage, I then must have confident, and to have real courage and confident, with respect, I must acquire as fast as possible all the necessary knowledge, skills and interpersonal arts. We can’t just be courageous and confident, but with empty head, sooner or later, we will never get respected, and even being sideline! The Malay proverb: Kalau kail hanya panjang sejengkal, jangan lautan dalam cuba diduga; is a great reminder how we must have all the knowledge and skills that we should be having in the course of our lives.

(59) In 1988, a group of PORIM officials headed by Jailani Sukaimi (Prof) came to pay a visit to our office. They were kin to setup a Peat Research Station in Sarawak. The State allocates them 1,000 hectares of Peatland in Sessang for such purpose. Prof Jailani was in fact my Genetic Lecturer in UKM. We used to argue alot at my final fourth year class. I used to be absent from his class, occupying myself with lots of student union activities which he really hate. Since those doing the Fourth Year Program were usually very small number, my absent was always noticeable. He used to want to fail me from his class, but I never heeded to his threat. At last, I passed with good mark for his subject, and I still can remember and applied what he had been teaching in his class to this day. In fact Prof Jailani gave me the experience to fight back in a very fruitful manner ie taking the challenge head-to-head, not withdrawing, and most important heading for the better. I respect him for such to this day.

(60) I remember, in that visit, when Dr. Hatta shown him to my office, his acclaim: “Do I need to deal with this, oh god, he is the worst student that I ever had!’, but then he gave me a hand shake, “Don’t worry, I’m just joking. You are now my boss, and I hope you are not that lazy in doing your job, just like in my class before!”. From thereon, my relationship with PORIM (now MPOB) had been very excellent. Dr. Gurmit Singh of United Plantation, plus Dr. Halim Hassan (Datuk), Lee Pai Lin, Dr. Zain Zawawi, Dr. Toyeb Dolmat, and many others used to frequent down to Kuching to deal with me on the implementation of the Sessang PORIM station. This station serves as the benchmark for oil palm development on peatland in Sarawak.

(61) I was a bit fortunate serving the SPU in those 1986-1999 periods. As a young (at that time, though have been 30++) officer I have been tasked to deal with lots of Agro-Rural Development Planning. The very significant among others was the Sarawak Agriculture Perspective Plan (SAPP) in 1990 through the Canadian Technical Assistance (TA). This Planning exercise gave me the opportunity to have a hand on training on Regional and Sectoral Development Planning. I have also the experience of working with the so called international experts.

(62) In 1992, after my intensive Remote Sensing and Geographical Information System (GIS) training at Asian Institute of Technology (AIT), with the helped of various officials from the various Department (DOA, DID, Fisheries, Forestry, PWD, Geology, etc) I embarked on the Lower Saribas IADP Study, whereby in 1994, the Project was pick-up by the ADB for Detail Feasibility Study, and was approved for implementation in 1996. Unfortunately, despite both EPU and ADB willingness to fund for the Project, due to numerous social problems, the Project was put on hold.

(63) In 2004, I managed to re-convince the Government to proceed with the Project and this time not through public funding but private initiative. The Chief Minister advice me to fly to KL and talk to Tabung Haji. Fortunately, Rashidi (Datuk) was the CEO of TH Plantation and he in fact was the one formerly with TradeWind who I had negotiated to partner with SLDB to do the Project in 1996. We didn’t discussed much in fact, and he just shot me one simple practical question: “The people there, who is going to handle them?” My replied to him is short and to the point: “Datuk, my organisation will not run away from helping you. We will work closely together with you in the implementation of this Project”. We shook hands and the Project now almost done. The socio-economic landscape of Beladin, Meludam, Semarang, Sepinang and Triso had now changed to be better.

(64) This Lower Saribas is a very classical case when the implementing agency, at that point in time, i.e. SLDB was not equipped with social-concern mindset personnel to really comprehend the ground issues. SLDB at that time was more concern about Business Turn Around to be a real corporate entity, despite it was wholly-owned by the State Government. This is the case now, where public entities used to serve the State and or National interest is no more interested with social services but focusing to money making! My puzzle in fact, is it true that socio-economic related Project would never make money? Is it really the truth or it is merely an excuse for not wanting to do non-glamorous jobs? If such is true, then one should examine Air Asia modus operandi: it is a commercial entity, and yet meeting it social outreach! Same goes with the Grameen Bank in Pakistan, and now there is another banking system called Children Development Bank run and finance by the poor urban kids! The Malays proverb: Kacang lupakan kulit, had be loudly echoed by the UMNO delegates over the matter in one of their AGM sometime ago. To me, the truth is there.

(64) In 1993, again I organised few colleagues from the various agencies to embark on the Lower Rajang Development Plan Study. The Project later turned into Lower Rajang Integrated Fisheries Development Plan, which resulted to the development of a deep Sea Fishing Port at Tg. Manis. Today, Tg. Manis had been planned and being transform into the State Halal Hub under the auspicious of PUSAKA (STIDC). But since I have good information on the potentials of the Lower Rajang particularly the areas stretching from Balingian to Daro, now those areas have been well developed for Oil Palm and Sago Plantation.

(65) On the same year, due to the concern over the peatland development, I drew up a special Study to identify and thus to proposed the best approach in peatland development. A consulting firm from Sime Darby was engaged for the Study. The Study in fact put up a simple logical criteria for the feasible development of peatland: the long term drainability of the peat which is determined by the level of the peat substratum as against the Mean Sea Level (MSL). As long as the peat substratum is above the MSL, the peat could be developed subject to proper soil treatment. To this day, I behold to this principle and all other technical and social issues are considered non-basic, thus could be resolved accordingly.

(66) Couple with another Study by PORIM in the same years, now peatland in Simunjan, Asajaya, Baram, Mukah-Balingian are being opened up for greater oil palm development. These areas now forms the economic backbone of those regions which giving birth to more organized urban development such as Mukah, Daro, Balingian, Betong, Kota Samarahan and many others. Nonetheless, now the State is being accused by both local and international NGOs for destroying the Earth Green Lung, and oil palm currently being treated and branded as unfriendly to the Probocis Monkeys (Orang Belanda) and Orang Utan; the two ‘Orang Sarawak’ that still live on trees, the two Orangs that the Orang Putih are so concern!

(67) To me, personalities such as Dr. Tayeb Dolmat, Dr. Zain Zawawi of PORIM (MPOB), Dr. Gurmit Singh (UP Plantation), Dr. Tie, Kuek Hong Siong (DOA Sarawak), Dr. Salmah Zakaria (DID KL), and Yoegeswaran (Geology Sarawak) were the early people whom were very knowleagable about our Malaysian Peat. I have the previlleges to have lots of discourses and reading their researches. I trust them more, then those NGOs, or those who just dance with those NGOs 'rock songs'. I preferred just to dance 'Cak Lempong!'

(68) Equally bad, when we developed the NCR land which are fallowed land, which gives marginal economic return to the owners, also being accused as ‘taking away the native right and culture of shifting cultivation’. My stance on all these, let us remain firm with our national agenda to develop and modernize the livelihood of our people and take all these critic as a precaution for us to develop our people on sustainable and gainful basis. As an Independent State, we can’t bow to others demands especially when their agendas were not as what being portrayed, worst to our disadvantage.

(69) In 1994, due to the high poverty incidence and as the follow up to the Poverty Study and Rural-Urban Migration Study that I coordinated and done through the Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia (UKM) in 1993, I paid visits to Selangor, Terengganu, and Kelantan to study their set-up in organizing poverty eradication related Programs. Particularly for Selangor under the leadership of Muhammad Muhammad Taib; which established the Yayasan Basmi Kemiskinan Selangor (YBKS), capitalising on the private sector initiatives in providing training and job placement for the urban poor kids. I considered YBKS was the best among all the available models. Thus, together with Hjh Noraini Husein (Datin) and Sutin Sahmat we later pushed for the establishment of Yayasan Kemajuan Insan Sarawak in short called YAKIN, to spearhead urban poverty eradication program. My good friend, Maria Hasman from DOA was then appointed the first CEO of YAKIN.

(70) In the same 1994, I was tasked to do socio-economic reconnaissance to the proposed Bakun Hydro-electric Project. In those days, the travel to this place was really a challenge. I have three accompanying officers from DOA: Jiram Sidu, the sociologist, and Ngab Dollah Salam, the soil scientist and Belaga District Office with me in the team. We have to attempt the place through Tubau in Bintulu. Firstly we flew down to Bintulu, and then took a three hours express boat ride to Tubau, at Kemana up river. From Tubau, we took a day long bumpy, winding, dangerous journey by logging tracks to Sg. Asap, and then proceed to all those 12 longhouses by small sampan.

(71) The journey along the Balui rivers system was another danger by itself. The water is fast. The river is rocky. We really have to maneuver between the many rapids. Sometimes, instead of enjoying the boat ride, we have to dip into the water pushing the boat on our shoulders. Lives were really tough. I can imagine, the local social desperado in time of emergency: acute sickness, delivery, etc.

(72) At one of the Longhouse, a Penan Bah Longhouse if not mistaken, that we made a stopover, I remember need to pay RM3.50 for a packet of Maggie and a boiled egg. The noodle priced at RM2.00 per pack, while the egg priced at RM1.50 each (almost same price of an egg in Papua New Guinea since the egg had to be imported from Singapore!). After having the delicious Maggie noodle with half boiled egg, I went over to their kitchen to check on their food inventories. Almost all of them have very simple food stock: a little bit of sugar, coffee, tea, salt, some spices, and cooking oil. No such thing as canned food, least on the list those titbits for the kids. At night they light up the kerosene lamp to brighten their bilik, and I don’t see their kids studying under those lamps. They have no water and surely without electricity supplies. Mode of transportation was merely by boat, which was very costly and could be very dangerous especially in the rainy season. Their only advantage was, the serene jungle setting, where subsistence hunting and fishing were still lucrative. Those were the sentiments that hold them to stay back, and feeling a bit reluctant to be resettled.

(74) I remember my conversation with the wife of Datuk Tajang Laing the Maren (supreme head of the local): “Tengok itu anak, kalau kami pindah, mana boleh lagi nampak sungai, batu, rapid, pokok-pokok, macam-macam”, and being a jovial young man (those days) I replied back: “Tak susah itu Datin, nanti saya pulang Kusing (Kuching) saya minta Government buat satu billboard besar depan Rumah Datin, lukis semua itu atas billboard”, and luckily she can take the joke or else, I would sleep in the jungle that night!

(75) After visiting most of the Longhouses, and the sites where they were supposed to be resettled, I gathered some colleagues from the various agencies to draw up the Bakun Conceptual Resettlement Plan. The works involved lots of GIS simulation, especially to pin-point the most favourable housing and farming locations. Various settlement development concepts were mooted: cluster, dispersal, centralised, close proximity, etc. Later, the agglomeration concept, whereby the Longhouse must remain independently distance but with proper road system and service linkages, was pursued. Unfortunate, probably, the work was done by a Botanist; the idea was not well communicated to the Government and surely later was not accepted. A private consultant was engaged to do the Study, i.e. few months after I left for my further Study over sea. Later upon my return, I gone through the Bakun Resettlement Development Plan Study, and how I was shock to find out, the consultant findings and plan were just exactly the same except said and presented in a different manner.

(76) Sometimes in the civil service, those are some frustrations that we need to realized, whereby, our own colleagues don’t buy our ideas, and they would love to have second and expensive opinions. If we are not patience and passion enough, we could just withdraw, but those should be the last thing that should cross our mind. To me, the struggle ahead is more important than being too concern about being appreciated! As a Moslem, probably, and as well as a traditional Malay, we should remember, a proverb that has this saying: Tangan kanan memberi, jangan sampai tangan kiri tahu, ie in doing good deeds, not even our left hand should know what the right hand had been doing! Which means, we should just do what we should be doing, and left the rest to Allah to consider later!

(77) Looking at the level of development in the State, I was very concern about being prepared for Malaysia Plan Programs formulation. Since serving the SPU I have the opportunities to be involved in the State 5-8MP formulation. In those days, without a proper Study (planning), the EPU of the PM Office wouldn’t be very hesitated in approving any funding. Thus, one to two years before the ending of the prevailing Five Years Malaysia Plan, together with those various technical agencies, I would be calling for Programs and Projects formulation well ahead of the formal circulars. Therefore in 1995 we rushed for few more Feasibilities Studies, and these among other the Development of Sebangan Bajong DID Schemes and the Asajaya DID Scheme expansion. Currently, these schemes had facilitated for the development of the Coastal Highway stretching from Samarahan in the south to Miri in the north. The Department of Agriculture (DOA) also initiated lots of subsectoral studies which I participated in overseeing through both the Technical and Steering Committees level. And these included the Livestock Development Plan and the Rubber Development Plan.

(78) In the late 1980s and early 1990s, I participated in the various international meeting especially on BIMP EAGA (Brunei, Indonesia, Malaysia and Philippines East Asia Growth Area) and SOSEK Malindo (Socio-economic Development of Malaysia- Indonesia). These meeting gave me the opportunities to visit Mindanao as far as Cotabato and West Kalimantan. These places in the late 1980s were very much like Malaysia in the 1960s. Poverty, disadvantage and marginalised group were rampant. Worst, civil servant salary could only last for two weeks and most of them have to do more non-official odd jobs rather dedicatedly serving their nation. The presence of kid prostitution and labour manifest the degree of earning problem among them.

(79) One thing very pertinent about this BIMP EAGA and SOSEK Malindo, the Indonesian and Philippines in particular, the love to talk and argue even for a simple single word. They also love to form lots more sub-committees with lots more public-private agencies being included in the meeting delegation. To my judgment, all these in fact were merely to give them chance to go over sea to attend all these, actually mostly non-fruitful meetings. Some Malaysians also have such character! Since mid 1990s, I skipped all these meetings.

(80) In 1994, I formally formed the GIS Section in SPU. With the core team headed by Dzuren Hamzah and Rahim Tamel, plus Habibah Bojeng, Dayang, and Mariani as the digitizers we began to embark seriously on spatial data collection. Intensive training both in GIS modelling and Remote Sensing Application were given to the staff. In the early 1996, few months prior to my departure for my study, I worked out a Comprehensive Two Years Work Plan to be done by the team on my absence. I stressed on them that the State would benefit greatly if they could accomplished those task once I return, and in fact they did all those perfectly.

(81) Subsequently, prior to my leaving for my Study, I worked closely with Teo Thien Hiong the CEO of SAINS to develop the Terms of Reference for the Study to establish the State GIS Center. The Study was later conducted, and now the center is named State ICT Center, which not only managing the State GIS but the overall State Service Computerization program.

(82) In 1995, since I was also holding the position as Admin Officer for the SPU (without extra paid), I worked out the Restructuring Plan for the Unit. Under the proposal, the Unit would comprise three main Divisions i.e. the Planning, the Project Monitoring and Evaluation and the Special Project Implementation Division. All the proposed Division heads were supposed to be N1 or currently equivalent to N54, while the Director position would be upgrade to Super Scale C, and should also be designated as the Deputy State Secretary for Development.

(83) Nonetheless, I didn’t manage to realise the restructuring, but as I was posted to Bintulu, my former boss later called me up to refresh the restructuring plan. Instead of splitting into three Divisions, SPU was later giving birth into three different Units (namely SPU, SIMU, and SpRU) with exact functions and responsibilities as I have outlined in my earlier proposed restructuring plan. In order to fill up the heading posts, I did recommended personalities such as Abdul Kadir Zainuddin, Masbah Ariffin (Datu), Ose Murang (Datu), and Ismawi Ismuni (Datu) to Wilson Baya (Datuk Amar). Dr. Napsiah Mahfuz (Datin) was then brought in to lead the SPU, while Ose Murang and Ismawi Ismuni were tasked to head the SpRU and SIMU respectively, with all later given Jusa C position.

(84) When the 8th MP was being finalised, I left for my post graduate study at University of Colorado at Denver (UCD), USA, on 8 of August, 1996. While studying at UCD I was lucky because my class comprises of 20 post-grade students whom mostly were fulltime employed. (I myself was also fulltime employed as Store Assistant at Payless Shoe Store at the 16th Street Mall of Denver). I have a great cross culture interaction with those from Indonesia, Argentina, Chile, Turkey, Saudi Arabia, Nepal, Pakistan, Indian, Iran, and the local Jews, Hispanic, Anglos, and Black. Later upon my return on 8 August, 1998, I continue to serve the SPU until 1 Sept., 1999.

(85) Immediately upon returning to work, I was tasked to develop the Term of Reference for the Socialization Study. A team led by Prof Ishak Shaari of UKM was later engaged to do the Study. The Study was basically to analyse the causes and trend of social issues which seem to be emerging all through the State especially within the larger urban areas.

(86) During my Study at the UCD, I did some works on urban renewal. My focus particularly was to look at causes and trends to urban drift especially among the Black and Hispanic communities within the Downtown Denver. Both statistical, spatial and first hand site and social analysis were deployed. I capitalised my GIS knowledge in simulating the spatial relationship of urban fabric-gaps and urban social issues. The result was indeed very convincing to the extent that the School of Architecture and Urban Planning later incorporated GIS as one of the key subject for the post graduate program.

(87) To my advantage, three months upon my return to SPU, the Chief Minister (CM) expressed his unhappiness over the slow growth of Kota Samarahan despite the existence of the three Higher Learning Institutions in the area. SPU was tasked to engage a consultant to look for the causes and solutions to the matter, and he wanted to be briefed within two months period. My boss at that time, Wilson Baya Dandot seem to be panic and immediately requesting me to draw the Term of Reference for the Study, but myself and my colleague, Abdul Kadir argued back that it was impossible with the existing Government system whereby to our calculation would need at least six months to handle the matter. Courageously, I offer my service to do the basic analysis, and later to let him brief the CM.

(88) In this case, what I could say, when one did his further Study, it is good for one to immediately think and work on of what are knowledge gaps that one must resolve to be a much more efficient and effective in one career upon returning later. I have seen most people when they were sent to study over sea, their focus was on vacation with the family or took those opportunity as a retreat. What a an interesting 'missing the learning opportunities'!

(89) At UCD, form day one, I took the challenge that I must have strong economic foundation to be able to be a good socio-economic planner. Thus, though my Program is an Urban and Regional Planning (MURP), I crossed over to The School of Economic & Business to take all those economic subjects: Macro-economy, Micro-economy, Mathematical Economy, Economic Forecasting and Modelling, Labour Economy, Monetary Economy, International Economy, Environmental Economy, and Comparative Development Economy at the Master Degree level. Despite I have to take all those courses for my MURP, I forced myself to carry extra academic loads, and I don't mind since those would help me to be better in serving the State.

(90) After consulting both the State Secretary and his deputy, my boss seem to be half heartedly allowing me to take on the task. Immediately I called Pengiran Hj Zain, the Resident of Samarahan to call for an urgent meeting among all the technical agencies in Kota Samarahan for me to explain to them on what and how the task to be done. Within a week, all the spatial information was made available to my office and I get our GIS Section to gear up digitizing all those maps and plans. In those days, the GIS system was not really user friendly, and most of the digitizing ladies turned red eyes. We worked till late mid night and even in the weekend to get all the information strongly synergizes. My idea was simple, to show to CM the urban fabric-gaps that had becoming a push-out factor for the growth of Kota Samarahan.

(91) Later, I also portrayed all the potential urban linkages that need to be provided in order to create the pull and push factor for a better agglomeration of economic activities within the Kota Samarahan enclaves. Among others were the housing, new urban center, pedestrian friendly roading system, supporting facilities, and as well as employment centers. The briefing was later done as requested, and to everybody surprised, the CM was very satisfied with the facts, issues and solutions given. He in fact congratulated my boss for three times for the briefing, and I was seated far back to the end of the hall just listening and observing from a distant! Everybody seems relieved, and now all those Conceptual Plan and missing fabrics are being well developed. Kota Samarahan is changing fast. Today, my only regret was that I didn’t try to present the details of what I meant by Kota Samarahan as the State Center of Educational Excellent. I have missed my chance to push for the emulation of Boulder and Golden University Cities of Colorado in Kota Samarahan development! Nonetheless, under my current port folio, I tried to fix the extra missing fabrics.

(92) From the briefing, I could deduce that not all the time the bosses (even the CM) have the best idea to resolve all the issues at hand. They, once a while are looking for some queue to hit on. Sometime the smaller guys do have much brilliant idea, except either they don’t make all the serious effort to communicate or they easily give up once their idea being shot down. To me, one need to fight back on the most rationale manner to get one idea through if one truely believes the idea is of great benefit to the Nation or Organization. Here, honesty, determination and rationalization play key role in getting our idea to be accepted.

(93) Later while everybody proceeds to enjoy the refreshment, I rushed home to take a long-long sleep. I have been working till late mid night for almost six weeks to prepare for the briefing. I really have lost weight as well with my eyes seem to be deep sunken into my skull. I let my GIS/RS Section to rest as well. In fact ever since I came back from my study, I had been crazy about testing all the knowledge and skills that I had acquired. Today, I realised, all these craziness about serving the State had created a step by step distance between me and my then wife. The gaps later emerged into a big ocean between us; that drown our relationship to death! Well, there is nothing to regret, and that was usually the price a sacrificed (and ignorance) being paid!

(94) Few months later, on the 1 Sept., 1999, I was transferred out of SPU to take on the job as the Resident of Bintulu. My boss was then awarded Datuship and later promoted as the Deputy State Secretary. But to my surprise, two days before my moving out of SPU, I received two phone calls, one asking me: “What so special about you that you make it too fast for that high ranking Resident position?”, of which I never answered but the guy remain my ‘nice’ friend to this day, and the other call: “What political cable do you have, that made you fly so fast?”, and to this question, my replied was simple: “My political network had committed suicide in the 1995 National Election, and worst he is an opposition, a hardcore opposition!”. And during my afternoon tea break the day before I left for Bintulu, with some good buddies at WBM canteen, jokingly they said: “Would be very interesting to see you on your Baju Melayu officiating all those local protocol works!”, and this remark was made since they never saw me on Baju Melayu in any occasion all these while. In fact I really don’t like to put on Baju Melayu, unless I can’t avoid it!

(95) All these in fact were psycological challenge that we must be ready to face once we are on the up hill climb. Doesn't matter what, once we being seen climbing fast especially in the situation: tiada angin tiada ribut; definitely there will be lots of hands (feet) that love to pull us down (but there are also lots that love to see us fly higher). Nonetheless if we take those too hard, then we defitely would dance to their wants. For me, I took my responsibilities ahead of what people think and said!

(96) My transfer as the Resident of Bintulu was not really a promotion. I was transferred on lateral basis. But as a compensation, I was given two steps up Acting Allowance only after six months later, and in fact not only after a year and half later I was upgraded to one step higher grade than my previous grade, of which even if I stay put at SPU, definitely I would also be getting it as the normal promotion exercise. There is nothing to be envy about my transfer. Except probably, my occupation to such a position at that very young age, 39 years old (Sarawak standard) when under normal norm, mostly whoever occupied such position were those in the late 40s. Well, may be I had created the record, but again those are sometimes the social cost that we have to face once we seem to gain faster than usual!

(97) My transfer was in fact a mere luck for me. Dennys Lang (Datu), who was the Permanent Secretary of the State Ministry of Agriculture passed away in Londan a few weeks before. The State was looking for a replacement. They need a person who is very well verse with the State Agriculture sector development. Definitely, their first target was SPU officials. Unfortunately, I was the only one most senior (year of service) in the Sector around, but due to my age and maturity (in fact my low rank), they think otherwise. Nonetheless, Dr. Abdillah Aton, having degree in Agriculture Economy and as well has been serving the SPU and LCDA, seem to fit the vacacies, but the only problem was who to replace him as the Resident of Bintulu. That was how, myself again came into the picture. This was revealed to me by then boss, Wilson Baya Dandot.

(98) A week before moving to Bintulu, I met the State Secretary, Hamid Bugo (Tan Sri) and seek for his advice of what I should be doing. His advise is simple: "Bintulu seem lacking in leadership. The civil servants and communities down there need a good leader to work with them. See how you could assist in those area". Accordingly I did also met his Deputy for Human Resource ie Abdul Aziz Hj. Husein (Tan Sri) and his advice was almost similar: "Just lead the people". Surely, I didn't forget my former mentor ie Dr. Hatta Solhee (Datu) who was the Deputy State Secretary for Administration. His fatherly advice was: "You work hard to bring change there, but be carefull not to throw too much weight (in fact I was merely 65kgs at that time though my ideal should be 72kgs!)". Those were the simple, straight forward mission and expectation from those at the top for me to execute fast.

(99) My immediate challenge in Bintulu was to wrestle back the Bintulu Parliamentary seat into the National Front realm, which at that moment was withheld by DAP, the opposition, the only opposition seat in Sarawak. I have about three months to do that. Thus my immediate strategies were to move around as quickly as possible with all the government machineries to win back especially the heart and mind of the rural population. We have to count on the rural voters. I worked smoothly with all the local State Legislative representatives, ie YB Datuk Calestine Ujang of Kemena, whom was also the State Minister of Land Development, YB Talib Zulphilip (Datuk) of Jepak, and YB Sim of Kidurong. I quickly signal to the public that I am able to work with anybody from the prevailing government system to bring better footing for Bintulu. I set a different standard of working culture for the R&DO Office, whereby we began to embark on serious rural development, not merely small social and protocol works that they seems to be popular with. With the concerted efforts of everybody, in the December 1999 General Election, the National Front managed to garnered 1,200 majority over the previous 200 plus votes by the DAP, through Tiong King Sing (Datuk Sri).

(99) Accordingly, after winning the vote, I move fast and made quick outreach to the private sector. The Plantation sector, the manufacturing firms and as well as those MNCs such as Shell and Petronas becoming my immediate concern. Workers relationship especially between the Moslem workers and those foreign investors such as the Korean, Taiwanese, and Japanese whom were very ignorance on the Moslem workers needs: especially praying place and time, fasting, halal food preparation caught my attention. I arranged for dialogue and rigorous discussion among them.

(100) Bintulu in fact is a fast growing Industrial Township. Here locates among the World Largest Liquide Natural Gass (LNG) installations as well as timber related industries. Most of the workers were foreigners: Indonesian, Bangladeshi, and the Philippines. Especially during the weekend, these groups of workers came out to town to relieve themselves, and most of the time they litter alot along those five foot path. During the Ramadhan period, they also behaving unacceptably to the local custom. They simply eat and do all sort of quite nuisance acts. All these I believe are just ways they want to relieve themselves and as well as their ignorance of the local custom and laws. Thus in order to avoid greater conflict with the local population, I organized the various related public agencies to hold briefing with all these people at their working premises and lodging places. Through such effort, in fact I killed two birds with a stone: to impart public awareness among the workers and at the same time to enable the officials to have direct access to their working and lodging premises, thus they could then enforce on the workers right.

(101) Land disputes, poor road maintenance, insufficient social infrastructures, poor sub-urban development, poor Government relationship especially in the rural areas became my favourite topic in my monthly inter-agencies meeting. I made all the Community Leaders to be busy talking, thinking, and working for gainful developments for their subjects. With all these moves, I managed to build the public and private sectors confidence, especially in the post 1997 Financial Crisis. Slowly new investments start to pour into Bintulu. Hope for new source of employments (income growth) began to brighten up the local expectation. At least in the small way, I helped to eliminate the psychological problem as always being mentioned by DMM that made our investors to withhold their investment, thus creating unnecessary economic slowdown.

(102) In another word, doesn’t matter how small we are, it is very important that we must know what roles that we have to take and what is demanded from us. Alot disagree with such a notion, but let think about these Malays proverbs: Kalau tak dipecahkan ruyung, masakan dapat sagunya; Sedikit-sedikit, lama jadi bukit! To me, if forever we think that since we are nobody, then we just be silent, forever we will never be somebody! Nonetheless, all is about judgment and rationalization. There are many ways to say our mind, if we dare, we can shout or even show our fist, and if not, probably we can just whisper or even smile but the issue is do we get ourselves across!

(103) In one of a closed door dialogue with the then Prime Minister, Dr. Mahathir Mohammed (Datuk Sri) I voiced out the frustration of the people of Bintulu; despite they had and continue to contribute significantly to the National GDP and Export Earning from the gas and petroleum resources, yet their road, schools, and all those basic social facilities were not given due attention. There is a serious population pressure in Bintulu. The population exodus and the public facilities are not in proportion, thus creating a frustrating syndrome even among the National Front supporters. Frankly I sounded loud and clear to the Prime Minister: “How much more time, and effort do I have to ‘bluff’ to gain the support of the people to this Government and yet they can’t benefit the fruits of their support. Jalan kat Bintulu ni, kalau nak banding dengan Jalan kat Changlunpun lagi baguih!”.

(104) Interestingly, while I was saying all those, DMM and even Datin Sri Hasmah Hashim were busy taking notes. Then he just replied: “Saya sudah catit!”, and thanks god, thereon, lots of Federal Officials rushed down to Bintulu to see what to be done. Now all those congested schools in Tatau, Bintulu Town, Jepak, and Sebauh are well attended. The same goes with the Federal Magistrate Court House and the Teachers Quarter, the Hospital, Airport and the Highway. To me, what is needed is honesty and courage. I could be fired for sounding ‘rude’ to the PM (with the attendance of the CM), but fact would remain fact, and I have nothing to worry to tell the truth, the real feeling of the people.

(105) All these aggressive acts that I portrayed in fact became a cultural shock to most of my staff and those communities leaders. I didn’t waste much of my time to educate all those especially among the old guards. My attitude to them was very simple, they have to work hard to change, failing which, they should just leave. Since they claimed they were senior and wise, they want to be honoured, I presumed, then they must show an exemplary performance to the new and younger generation. We can’t be just waiting around for a change and yet we ourselves do nothing. I can't honour those just merely want to be honour but had cotributed nothing! I can’t wait, I have social mission to accomplish. Worst, we were so good to call for the change, and yet we ourselves never want to change, what a hypocrisy! All these made me very unpopular especially among the civil servants, but I can’t step back and be dragged into their complacent working culture. I shaken up everybody. I don’t mind to hurt anybody, rather I failed to serve my purpose to exist under such lagging environments.

(106) The State secretary at many times, I heard trying to persuade his people the civil servants to be prudent in the financial expenditure. They were advice not to abuse many of the public facilities especially the official cars. But to my surprise, most (in Bintulu in particular) didn’t heed to his advice and calls. Worst even the junior staff, especially the drivers were the one whom really enjoy using the official cars as they wish. In order to stop and content these abused, I ordered all the R&DO cars to carry the State logos. Any cars movement must be made through proper application and processing. The District Officers were not exempted. Myself take the lead. Unless too necessary, only did I used my official cars. My kids were limited to where the State Circular allowed them to be driven. My then, wife, unless emergency, she is not entitle to use the official car. I travelled using economic class flight and stayed in cheap room. My idea was simple, if I can be very conservative in official spending, then all my subordinates should be thinking and acting accordingly. Let uses much of the public money for public purpose not for our own comfort.

(107) My underlying thinking about being conservative when come to enjoying all those privileges being accorded to me is simple. There is no ‘dalil sahih’ on this, but I believe, everything has its quota. Even our lifespan has quota. If I consume all the privileges that are accorded to me while I’m alive, would I enjoy the same or even better privileges hereafter? Least, I’m reminding myself there are lots more out there, whom not even enjoying any privileges, yet they can do even better! There is no harm to sacrifice a bit. I keep this principle to this day.

(108) Socio-economic data collection becoming one of my prime concerned. I trained two of my younger officers: Saiful Bahari and Haizawati to do data collection and analysis. In order to get a faster impact, my focus was on educational performance and issues. The kindergartens set up, then moving to elementary school environments and later to higher secondary education facilities caught my immediate attention. Later with the strong support of all the related public agencies and the private sector, we managed to produce the Bintulu Divisional Perspective Plan and then becoming a blue print for us to get greater development share in the 8th Malaysia Development Plan (8MP).

(109) In fact, I used all those primary data to communicate with all level of government officials from District to Divisional, State and Federal level. I wrote letters, have discussion and really make sure our officers to contnuously follow up on all the matters that we believe are pertinent and urgent for the societies. My officers: Sujang Damu and Willian Nyalau Badak (now a member of Parliament of Lubok Antu). I reall drilled them and make sure they have all the courage to deal on the development matters even if it has to go to the Prime Minister Office especially the Economic Planning Unit (EPU) and Treasury. I have to do this is basically on the rationale that, shouting to the PM is one thing, but official follow up is another thing. No doubt, my long serving at SPU gave me all the upper hand to do all these thing, but again all boil down to personality. My mission was to lead, so leading for better change was my focus.

(110) In the area of rural development, with the help of Hj Abdullah Ahmad (Datuk) of the SDO and plus the Mahathir's Program Ransangan Ekonomi, we managed to get handsome amount of fund to do roads, bridges, alternative power supplies, alternatives water supplies, communities facilities and most significantly, we managed to build and improve lots of Kindergartens all through Bintulu. All these Projects at least really giving lots of relief to me to be able to fulfil the Government promises to really improve the Quality of Life of the general population. The community leaders in fact later began to see the fruits of their hard team works.

(111) All these could be done at the high speed because we had earlier own embarked on Village Profiling. I made the Communities Leaders to really work on those. At the official level, I deployed those redundant manpower especially among the drivers, office attendances, and clerks to do the simple census from Village to Village. All works were done either on the weekend or as one of the main activity of my rural travelling trips. No extra resources were required, and we really work based on the budget allocated. Prior to this, all my staff and the communities leaders were ‘forced’ to acquire the computing skill. I get those who are good in computing to teach those who are ‘Buta Komputer’. Subsequently, I worked out with Teo Thien Hiong from SAINS and SPU to handover to us those absolute PCs but still could be used for those simple data capture and processing. Within a year later, I managed to convince Teo Thien Hiong the worth to really properly computerized the R&DO of Bintulu.

(112) In doing all these works, though sound very smooth, in fact I received lots of harassment. Normally it’s political related. I used to be accused of abusing my authority and even being corrupted. All those accusation in fact were related to ‘their kakis’ not getting enough or they can’t monopolies the contracts, or our officers were very strict with the specification during their verification works. I don’t heed to their harassment, or else our officers wouldn’t be able to do their good job. With such, I have nothing to fear or favour even when they wrote letter to PM and CM to complain. I also take the courage to explain to both the CM and the SS personally. Even after I have left Bintulu, the BPR came to investigate their accusations, and I instructed the Office to give full cooperation, later the truth prevail.

(113) Nonetheless, while implementing all those Projects, I made sure all procedures were complied and proper documentation being made. Decision always being made not single handedly, but through series of consultation. I don’t allowed anybody to make decision especially wrt approval of contract and certification of work single handedly.

(114) While serving the R&DO Bintulu, I really divide my time for Administration, Development, the Communities and Protocol on a very strict basis. Normally I deal with Adminsitration and Development matter for the first half of my day. I would then entertain all those communities and protocol matters in the afternoon or even evening. I normally organized my field trips to the rural villages in the afternoon, since I know most of the rural folks would be free after the morning farming, fishing or hunting. Lots of informal discussion also being held during my lunch and afternoon during the work break. I only catch up with my family especially my two small fast growing kids in the early morning for breakfast and evening dinner.

(115) My posting to Bintulu didn’t last long. In mid 2001, I was informed to be recalled back to SPU. But, since all the local YBs requested me to stay until the 2001 State Legislative Election, thus the State let me stayed on until end of 2001.

(116) My strategy of winning the election is rather simple. I made my staff and all those public agencies to really work hard well in advance prior to the declaration of an election. Extensive and intensive interactions with the people were organized. And once the DUN is dissolved, I would just stay back in office, and minimise my movement, especially among the political spheres. I must make myself and the whole Organization to be politically neutral, the responsibility would then merely to provide the official logistic support to those ministers and his officials. In this sense, I would have a better upper hand in dealing especially in areas where political differences would cause a stumbling block to the significant development initiatives. In the State 2001 election, the Kidurong seat was wrestled back by the DAP, while good majority were garnered by the National Front for Kemena, Jepak and Tatau. My varsity mate, Dr. Stephen Rundi replaced Datuk Ujang Jilan as the candidate for Kemena.

(117) My greatest accomplishment while serving in the R&DO Bintulu was when I managed to convinced the then Darul Ulum: an Islamic NGOs that provide basic Islamic teaching among young kids; management to agree for their old, small and unhygienic building (school) at RPR Sg. Sebiew be dismantle and redevelop. Originally, the building was financed by an opposition group. Politically, touching the building especially when the election was around the corner was not good, thus I have to handle it purely from the administrative and communal perspective. To me this building symbolised the greatest weaknesses and shame to the Bintulu Moslems. Thus through contribution of the Moslem in Bintulu and else where, a proper three storeys concrete building with 25 classrooms capacities was put in place. The total cost of the Project was RM3.50 million, and to get that amount of fund, we organised lots of fun raising activities among the local communities. This building later we named as Madrasah Artarbiah Al-Islamiah Bintulu, in short as MARTABAT. Personalities such as Hj. Kadir Sahib, Ust Mukaram (an Indonesian), Ust Sanani, Ust Ali Sahib, Hj. Sharkawi, Hj. Mohidin Ishak (Datu), Hj. Suut Suhaili and many others were the few behind the success of such development. The only setback is that, nobody seem to be serious in realizing the true potential of the Center as the Local Resource Center for the good of all the surrounding communities, Muslim and non-Muslim.

(118) Secondly, in order to honour the hard works of my staff in developing the Village Profile, upon my return to SPU, I managed to convince the State to make the system into a broader State Village Profiling System which will then was well integrated with the SPU/State GIS-RS System. The system is very beneficial to plan for Rural Transformation as currently being sounded by the PM. In Bintulu, the staff did also developed a computerised system that enable for a proper Project Implementation Tracking System (PITS), which later was adopted by SIMU to track on the overall State Project Implementation Monitoring and Evaluation.

(119) For record of gratitude, one year after serving the R&DO Bintulu, the then State Secretary, Abdul Aziz Hj. Husein, put up to the Governor to honour my little contribution with a State award. I was shock in fact recieving a personal recommmendadtion letter from him , then a call by the Astana about the matter, but I wrote him an email: "I'm honored by your thought about the award. But, I have to turn your recommendation down due to serious and very personal reason" Months later when I met him, I again personally explained to him my stance on the award, now and later, I really can't accept anything for the reason I explained to him". He understood and respect me for my stance.

(120) I reported back to SPU on the 2nd January, 2002. I was sadden in fact the moment I laid my feet back to SPU. Firstly, again, I seem not well accepted among my peers, by reason I was still too young (at 42 years old) and had not enough experience to lead such a respectable Organization. Secondly, there were some who believe, that since I have no economic academic background, such high profile economic-based Organization doesn’t fit me well. Nonetheless, I just pushed aside such skeptism, and focus myself to really resolve the much pressing issues at hands: I need to lead with new young staff whom were not only lacking of experiences but were also great lacking in confidence. All the senior staff of the earlier SPU had been posted out, and I have to rebuild SPU to where it should be.

(121) In fact, I was the least paid SPU director. Though all those before and after me were given either permanent or substantive better numeration, I was kept to ‘where I belong’. The very reason for such treatment was because I was still very junior and not qualified to hold a higher ranking grade! Nonetheless, I didn’t made a big hush out of such unfair treatment, but since my interest was not really on the position, but rather on the job to be a real great socio-economic planner, I just ignored those ‘dirty minds and hearts’ that try to ‘place my fate into their hands’. Time will come, insyaAllah, as He said: “Just a matter of time....what is mine is mine, what is yours (theirs) will be yours (theirs)...!”

(122) My first approach in rebuilding the SPU was to quickly define the Strategic Direction and thereon detailing the Action Plan for SPU 2002 Work Plan. I organized a three day retreat for all the SPU staff, and to my memory, in fact that was the first retreat ever been held over the 14 years of my service in SPU. All the staff, senior and junior were to speak up their mind especially on the best method to get SPU back on track.

(123) Thereon, I began to place the intermediate seniors such as Sapiah Daud, Federick, Liew, Pathihi, Rozaini, and Intan Rahmah into the senior position despite some felt not confident, but I sort of forced them to take their responsibilities. I encouraged the staff to travel and attend meeting on their own. By such, I would be able on fast track basis to build their knowledge over the State development needs and thus would also build up their confident to fight for the good of the State.

(124) Since the year 2003 would be the 9th MP Mid Term review. Thus in order for us to move ahead in formulating the Mid Term Review Plan, we ought to have some strong basis either to enhance or modify the original 9th MP. As such, a consulting firm, the Salford University of Manchester, United Kingdom was engaged to develop the State System Dynamic Economic Modelling to forecast all the possible parameters and variables that would push the State economy faster forward. Accordingly, we did also work hard to finalise the Socialization Study that had been commissioned to the UKM group.

(125) The strength of SPU is with regard to comprehensive socio-economic information archival and retrieval. As such, to facilitate for greater work efficiency, I ordered for a proper Networking off all our PCs. A proper data storage format was initiated. Dzuren, Rahim and Sapiah were tasked to get the job done within two months period. A proper data security measures was also developed and the procedure was well appreciated all through the Organization. Integration of Statistical and Spatial Information was quickly organised. All these was meant to get ourselves ready in the formulation of the State 10th MP and as well as to enable us to really come up with better socio-economic advisory function to the Government.

(126) While the staff were busy setting up our Information Management Framework not only for the long term needs of the Organization and State but as well as to immediately be ready for the starting of the System Dynamic Modelling Study, I spent my time looking at a region called Sg. Tunoh in Kapit to be developed along the Rural Growth Center development concept. The report was prepared in two months and was given to the Ministry of Land to follow through with the Cabinet for decision. Unfortunate, to this day, the matter just rest at peace in the file, while the people on the ground are dying hunger of development!

(127) Unfortunately, while I was in full gear to ‘rebuild’ the SPU into it original state, somewhere in the mid of August, 2002, I was called up by Abdul Aziz Hj Husein, the State Secretary and was informed to leave and to lead another Organization ie LCDA. On hearing this, I felt really sadden, tears almost pouring from my eyes, and I put my hands up and said sorry, and I was not interested to take up the job. I told him, the position of the Director of SPU might not be paying me well, but that was my career dream to be a real professional socio-economic planner for the State. I love the job, and I don’t mind to retire there and do my best from there. I’m not looking for any promotion. I’m only looking to serve the State better. SPU is always my first choice. But the State Secretary told me that I have no choice but to go, and the instruction came high from the Chief Minister!

(128) On the afternoon of 5 Sept., 2002, I was called up to have an audience with the Chief Minister whom is the Chairman of LCDA. Before he could say anything, I quickly asked for his favour not to take me out of SPU. I told him that I’m lacking in Financial, Corporate Legal, and Corporate Management. He needs to look for better candidate than me. But, the boss is always the boss, he easily convinced me to give it a try: “It's time for you to move up. You take up the job for six months, do your analysis, and then you come and talk to me again”, those were his words, and immediately upon reporting duty in LCDA on the 14th Sept., 2002, I began to go into all the problems that the Organization was facing.

(129) Six month after taking up the job, I paid CM a visit and revealed to him what I found out. What I discovered were very scary: “Can you handle them?”, that was his simple question. “I can try” I replied to him short and simple, and that is where I began to lost my early and good sleep. From 14th Sept., 2002 onward for the next first two years, I used to wake up in the middle of my sleep and wondering: “Why me? Should I not just surrender and back off?”, and my mind keep thinking and strategizing. If I stay, what should I be doing to offset my ‘lost dream’ by leaving the SPU, if I back off, should I continue to stay in the Civil Service, should I be a coward? All those internal debate haunting my chest and my head. At last, I stand firm to head on, to take the challenge, to revive and to make LCDA to where it should be. I pray, may Allah and all those surrounding me will help me to accomplish that for the good of the State.

(130) My entry to LCDA was another shocking news to many. I never dream and ask to be there. Lots of people seem to question and be doubtful about my corporate capacity. Even one night I got a long distant call from my good friends: "Hey, I'm having coffee with some of our old friends. We were talking about your promotion. They seem to envy your fast movement. And sorry, this very personal remark by one of them: "How could you manage this LCDA even your own family is wrecking. Are you OK?"

(131) Within about three years after my MURP Program, I seem to manage to get to four levels higher than my 1998 position (under the old scheme). Definitely alot envied over my achievement. Nonetheless, in reality, few knew that in fact, again my flight was not as smooth as most people thought. Despite as the head of LCDA, I should be given such a such position, nonetheless, those in the authority decided that I be given a much lower than what I should get. I never realised this, until a year later when I have problem in promoting some of my subordinates into certain positions when their post were in fact occupied by me. I was puzzled and get our Agelina Ujang (Datin) of the Human Resource Division to check and rectified the matter. It took them almost another year to get the matter sorted out, and it has to go the long way to the State Cabinet though I believe it is just a normal administrative matter. I was concern about the case not because it affected me, but most important it affect the morale of my subordinates, and I need their high morale support to sail in the thundering sea that I was facing.

(132) I my case, I believe, I have no problem to do my work and said out my mind despite my insignificant position, nonetheless, I do believe, I always having problem when come to taking care of my personal welfare. Probably that is my fate, I don’t bother. I’m not born for myself and to anybody (this believe came to me when I think of my parents passing away way ahead I could repaid them), but I believe I’m to serve the society!

(133) Managing and steering LCDA to be a corporate body, while the course is still within the socio-economic battle ground, is just like racing with a steam roller on the winding alleys of an Old Spanish Township, instead of the shooting the porcshe on the modern F1 circuit. Nonetheless, whether I could accomplish my job satisfactorily in the current position is very much determine by the team that I’m building. Here I'm not only tasked as announced by Taib Mahmud (Pehin Sri, the Chief Minister) at the SPU 25th Anniversary Dinner two weeks after I left the Organisation, my special mission was: "I need him, To restructure LCDA!"

(134) Initially, I didn't really get into the outreach meaning of such simple instruction: "to restructure LCDA" until three years later. Now, my team have to restructure LCDA and its environs. To me, in order for LCDA to be great, its environs both internal and external must be great. There will never be an efficient, effective, and clean, LCDA by merely making ourselve internally efficient, effective and clean. The external factors must also be made as such. All these need to be done witout fear and favor!This in fact is a Mount Everest Climb, and knowing as such, from year one to this day (annually) I almost made it compulsory for all my staff (by batches) to make it at least to the Lowii Peak of Mount Kinabalu!

(136) My first step when entering LCDA was to meet all those ex-General Managers. I asked them all their ambition that they intended to do but they can't accomplished as well as all the problem that they faced in the past. Definitely, I seek their prime advice. With such, I believe in my process of cleaning up LCDA, at least I have consulted all those were there before. To me, my very basic attitude in the cleaning process was not to know who did the 'problem', but merely to focus on the problem and get those rectify. I'm not interest who did what, I was focus to result.

(137) Surely, in handling an ailing Organization, definitely we will be facing the good, the moderate and the bad guys. My startegy on this was simple, let the good guys good ahead to deal with the future. Work with the moderate guys to rectify the problem while once a while get them sparing with the good one. Surely with regard to the bad one, we need to be clear, frank, upfront, tough on them. To me either they change or they get lost. If they change, we need to honor them, failing which, we must consider time up! It must go all through. No time limit even in good days. I'm not assigned to take care of those who can't deliver to the expectation, but to move LCDA for the good of the State.

(138) I wish during my serving in LCDA, I would be able to contribute to the Chief Minister vision to transform and restructure the mentality and attitude of the rural folks, whom now became one of my prime responsibility, in order to align them to the main stream of development on a more gainfull basis. Nonetheless it is premature on how much I had succeed to do all these, and I would only talk about this, probably two years from now.

(139) In Summary, definitely I owed lots of people to the little success and contribution that I have made. I thank them alot for their supports, helps, assurance, and prays. For those who would want to be somewhere, just merely dreaming is not the solution, worst if we are just interested to talk, but not determine enough to be where we should be. To critic is another thing, but to really realise a solution is another. Thus, to me the best strategy to achieve to where we should be is to serve smartly, honestly, dedicatedly, with courage and dignity. Knowing and acting to our purpose is the rightful course of our existence.

(140) Last but not least, for those inspiring young, let me say this: “A monkey will never be out of the Jungle if its just be stubborn to be a monkey, but if its begin to learn the human tricks, sure it would be rewarded with lots of peanuts (at least peanuts)!

(141) May Allah give us all the strength and courage to do the best for His people. There is this saying by some ulamas: Muhammad SAW loves the poors (for he himself was poor), the orphans (for himself was an orphan), the disadvantages (for he himself was disadvantage), thus love (fight for) them all if you love Muhammad! Even if we never being as such, I believe we still have to shoulder those responsibilities. InsyaAllah.

Terasi, Pendam, Simunjan
14-30 Sept., 2010