1/2/23 TODAY, MY DAY ....

I was driving from Kuching (town) back to my kampong at 3:00 am this morning (18 Feb., 2023). Nowadays, it is my routine to come down to town at around 3:00 am on Sunday and Friday early morning, then by 3:00 am on Tuesday and Saturday, I'll rush back to my kampong. Every Tuesday and Friday, I'll be discussing all those corporate development planning works with all the related consultants that I need to work with. Now I'm focusing on being a fulltime farmer, despite the fact that I still have some work to do in Kuching. Working hard since 2019, I'm now having 30 acres of pineapple farm intercrop with banana. From January 2023, I'm targeting to expand another five acres, but due to market situation, I'm shifting from farming pineapples with banana, now I'm doing intercropping banana with few marketable orchards: Jack Fruit, Cempedak, Sour Soup, Bread Fruits, Pandan coconut, pomelo and some selected local varieties durian. My coming five acres farm will be my next experiment over intercrop orchard development. I believe I had successfully explored the feasibility of intercropping banana and pineapples based on local market, pineapple agronomic and farming regime scenarios. 

(2) Now my 30 acres farm has started producing, so I need to do lots of marketing. I have to do the marketing personally in view of I'm working on niche market and the volume is considered small. In Shaa Allah by the middle of this year, my marketing networks will be much better as well as the trade volume will greatly expand.

(3) Driving at 3:00 am in the early morning is really great. The Kuching-Samarahan-Sadong Jaya road is considered totally empty at such a moment. I can drive really at my speed - speedy or really slow. With the car radio playing mostly the classical oldies, as well as I keep reciting the Al Fathihah, Al Kauthar, Al Kursi and the three Qul and Zikir or Tasbih all through the drive, my mind and heart feel really soothing and calm. Normally if not raining, I'll unwind all the car windows and enjoy the cool air washing over my face and hair. Indeed, I had found a better way to do "Qiamulail".  Instead of staying put on the Sajadah, here I travel through the night alone but closely accompanied by remembering Allah and Muhammad SAW.

(4) Recalling my childhood days in 1960s, I used to go and come back from school alone. In those days, it took me about 90 minutes to walk from school to home and vice versa. No body accompanying me. My parents never sent and fetched me back to and from school. Sometimes due to some cocurricular activities, I did come back a bit late, almost to sunset.  There were times I had to walk through heavy rain, storms and flood. Even in the early morning at 06:30 walking alone to school in bushy and muddy kampong footpath, such was scary for kid at my 7-12 years old age. Nonetheless, Allah as He will, He inspired me to recite the Al Fathihah and the three Qul. As kid, I knew nothing about the significance of those Surah and Ayat. Indeed, those Surah and Ayat were words of glorifying and seeking guidance, protection and help from Him. Therefore, Qiamulai indeed is an individual face-to-face private audience with Allah.

(5) Well now I choose to enjoy my life this way, be a kampong entrepreneur but not neglecting some works that I need to do for the good of the State and the Company that I worked for. My very intention, I hope what I'm doing will inspire the kampong folks to emulate intensive yet sustainable small scale integrated market farming. I believe this farming model is very important as nowadays, farmers are losing their farm economic of scale and numerous related issues. I want to prove that even smallholding farming, one's could earn a good healthy and enjoyable living. I hope I could sadaqah new approach in lifting our rural folks income and living environment. Accordingly, I hope this lifestyle will keep me fit and healthy as my age is building up fast. Indeed, these new careers that I'm pursuing ie as corporate business planner and farmer, really exhaust both my mind and energy. I hardly have time to rest. I work seven days a week from 7-5. Nonetheless the combination of both I would believe would keep both my mind and physic forever fit and healthy, In Shaa Allah.

(6) Indeed, driving alone in early dawn while keeping Allah and Muhammad SAW in my mind and heart had really helped me to overcome all the challenges that I need to face since I left the service in 2011. While in the public service, I had all the resources to help me execute my tasks. Today, I have only myself to do almost everything. But Alhamdullilah, ever since Allah had always been there to lend His hands to me. Pain and alone are always there, but His Hidayah is always streaming into my mind and heart giving all the strength to fight. Allah indeed at all the time had given me His Hidayah on how to move on. Alhamdullillah. SubhanaAllah.

(7) And as I came closer to my kampong, but through a dark part of the journey (road), suddenly I felt my car bump onto something "huge". I quickly put on the brake which almost made me skid to the side of the road. From the rear mirror flashed by the hind car light, I could see something was curling and struggling to walk away in the middle of the road. I went to see a little closer, my car had hit a huge python. "He" was not badly hurt. He still can walk away despite seem with some struggling.

(8) I reached home at around 4:30 am. I quickly went to the bathroom to wash my face and take wudhu before I continued to sleep. But to my frustration, the water flow was too slow and a bit yellowish. Milky water. Luckily, I had collected some reserve water in a pail before I left for Kuching the day before for my wash. I then quickly jumped onto the bed and told myself: "Go to sleep or else you won't be fresh to work on your farm later". I have at least one hour nap before fajar and need to wake up early to prepare for my nice nutritious breakfast: boiled egg, coffee, some bread with honey and pineapple juice. My eyes were tired. So does my body. Yet not my mind. "You are 63 by today. What have you been?" My mind and heart seem to be questioning my being. I can't sleep. I woke up and sat by the bedside. I covered my face with both hands. " Oh Allah, what is happening to me?" My subconscious mind seems not satisfied with what I have done or being. Well, that is great, since such a feeling would place me to do better or even more. But this awakening mind definitely would put my whole body in stress and thus I won't be able to do my best for the day.

(9) Suddenly I remember the python and the water tape. What are all those? My mind changed to hyperactive thinking. Python and the water tape, what have those to do with me? The clock by then had ticked to 5:45. Time for Fajar pray. I took the ablution, said my prayer and recited Al Fathihah three times, Al Kauthar three times before ending with the three Quls and Al Kursi. Allah is forever great, at the end of my pray, He gave me an idea about the python and the pipe.

(10) A python, indeed is an opened ended living bamboo. What goes in will goes out. Python takes everything in: chicken, calf, piglet, even other snakes' species. Sure, what came out is shit. Dirty. Smelly. Jerk. Really different from all other shit. Not fully digested. Even when a python is taking his bounty, he did it in total greed. He swallowed the wholesome of his prey. No other creature takes his meal as disgusting greedy as the python. Therefore, by the python character, what did Allah want to imply or for me to understand? SubhannaAllah. I must never be a python; character-wise. Taking all in. Nothing left. Yet after the big feast, with big belly, he turns immobile and easy prey to be killed. In life, I must only take what is rightfully mine ONLY. As a farmer, my challenges are huge and non-exhaustive. I need to struggle harder and harder to get the best results. Yet, once the bounties are in, will all those be mine? My hard struggle doesn't warrant me to own thing in total.

(11) The older Malays used to say: "Berbakti kepada tanah, tidak pernah rugi". Literally what it means: "One never lose for being a farmer". Really? Indeed, it is true. "Tidak pernah rugi or never lose" doesn't mean one will always make monetary profit. In Islam, our ROI must always be measured the Islamic way ie whatever we are doing is all about our honoring our responsibilities that Allah had tasked upon us. By farming, it doesn't matter what the outcome is, indeed, a farmer is doing good to the soil, water, pests and all the benefiting creatures. Indeed, a man's KPI, from the very beginning of his creation is about to manage things for the good of all Allah other creations, beside the human being. Thus, when I hit the python earlier on, all is about Allah hidayah for me to remain on course with my new career doesn't matter of the ROI. Yet, I must not be a python, take everything for oneself and shit out jerks for others.

(12) The pipe. If one visited a good hardware store that dealt with bathroom accessories, one would realize there are varieties of water tape made: plastic, iron, copper, chrome, silver and even gold.   Doesn't matter what the tape is made of, once one turns on the tape, the expectation is the coming of fresh clean water. Pipe is supposed to produce clean water, nothing less. Pipe or tape is man made. The designated purpose of a tape is to produce clean water.

(13) Anything, man-made, all are expected to perform to their purposes of invention. A knife to be sharp to cut. A car, to run well to carry us around. A ship to sail to it best. A road to make travelling easy. So on and so on. All men "creation or inventions" are to perform to their actual purpose, failing which the product either be banished or thrown out. Allah as the Master Creator, He created man to be man, nothing less or more. Indeed, nothing created by Allah and even man for that matter is of no used or to be abused. All are for a specific purpose. Thus, myself as man, must remain as man, a true man. What is that a true man in the eyes of Allah? 

(14) This writing, written on this date 18 Feb., 2023, and today 11 March, 2023, about 20 days gap for the update and finalization, my early instinct that this year I will tumble to hardship alone is at its peak. Friends, relatives and those loves one are leaving one by one. All having their own reason. Thus, over the last 10 days or so, I have been talking to Allah what I should I be and or be doing? Things are crumbling around me. Now at this KLIA, I intent to finish this writing, but my heart is full of tears. Allah is testing me to my limit. Could I shoulder them? Today I have to think, should I be stingy and secure my personal happiness and success and forget about my political and societal idealism. Basically, should I be a python or a pipe head? I hope as usual in the flight later, with my eyes close to half asleep and my breath to the slow rhythem, I pray Allah would lead me to my way forward. In Shaa Allah.

18 Feb - 11 March, 2023

Terasi, Sadong Jaya-

KLIA enroute to Kuching