11/4/12 TRAILING MY PAST SOUL....

(40-45 years ago, I watched this greenish bluish hills across my grandma Village, Terasi. Today, I saw a deep scar on its body, and the people down under, just as they were; no tears, no smile)

Late yesterday afternoon, I crossed the Sadong River to attend Tahlil of my distance uncle. It was almost six and the sky had turned silver-pinkish. As the ferry took me across the probably 1.5 kilometers River, I stand to the far front of the ferry. The breezing was cool. The tide was almost at the highest. The River was calm. The cool breeze creates lines of small waves that sparkle silvery in the dust light. The mangrove trees lining both side of the River gives a darker green lining in the shadow of the resting sun.

(2) Well, if one had watched the Titanic movie, the scene is just as such. Feel great indeed. Splendid. But, I was silent to see the horizon in front of me. 40-45 years ago, Sadong River, was my blood (that the reason why I use ABC Sadong as MyBloq add). Here, in my kid days, I used to fish and got lots of prawn. Sometimes at high tide, at dust, I just took my dad’s sampan to the middle of the River and enjoy the accompany of the dark skin school of dolphins. In those days, we can see the dolphins fooling themselves running after those boats and sampans going up river especially during the high tide period. I’m not sure such privilege is any more there.

(3) The River, taught me to be though. With my friend, Wan Muhammad Was Seman, during the weekend, we used to run after those loose logs and took them to the nearby sawmill, which earned us RM1.00 per logs. Sometimes we make up to RM5.00/week, and that was great money in those days. Fishing was my friend's best hobby, though I never like fishing, but I love to catch the baby prawn senik, using smoke coconut as my bait, I normally caught lots of the baby prawn. It taste great when fried with the Sabah Vege shoots.

(4) With my dad, especially during school break, I used to paddle down river, which took us almost half a day, to my grand mum (my mother side) village at Terasi where now I choose to rest to my end, I hope. Though I was small and skinny, my dad just let me paddled the sampan, while he enjoyed his nipah cigarette. Those were some memories that I recollected as the ferry fly the river for almost 20 minutes.

(5) Then I drove off passing all those Villages: Selangkin, Pantung, and Tg, Pisang. Soon I passed my old Kampung ie Kg Sedilo. I try hard to figure out all those coconut trees that I had planted when I was a boy. I spotted some. I stopped by the road side. Our farm had now turned into heavy bushes. The Kampung had never changed to better, in fact getting worst. The only improvement was the tar sealed road and a big DID drain and bund that run along those walking path that I used to take to school in those days. It was really nostalgic for me.

(6) Here, for a while, as I began to know the world by as early as four years old, I tend to my handicap mum. She reappear into my memories. Her laughter, her scream and her tears crystal clear flashing back onto me. My tears just ran free as I glared over the site of our old home. There I grew as a kid, lonely kid in fact. I could feel, my siblings running around. We have lots of Kampung fowls. Sabah Vege lined our farm drains. I also planted lots of sugar cane and banana along the drain. A boy's knocked on the door of my pickup, made me awake and quickly drove to Kampung Nanas, as the Maghrib is approaching fast.

(7) Upon reaching my uncle’s home, I quickly get into the house to meet my aunty (the wife) whom hardly recognized me anymore. She was busy preparing the food for the tamu. In fact, I have not met her for more than 15 years I believe. This uncle of mine, the wife, ie my aunty, is my dad's cousin. Her mother was my grandmother younger sister. In those young days, we were very close. At least once a week, they would come to visit us in our kampong and would normally spend at least a night with us. I remember my uncle well, because, when I got the offer to study in Kelantan in 1972, he was the one who brought the offer letter to our home. He read it with great pride to my dad. Thereon, he became the reader and writer to my dad when he received or want to send letter to me. In those days, my uncle, was sort of the highest positioned civil servant in our larger family circle, and he was a mere office boy, and see how cruel lives in those days, under the colonizing master. He passed away at 75 years old, that is almost at the same age with my dad. But my dad, left much earlier, ie 35 years ago, all because he was badly devastated with the lost of my mum, his best friend, lover, wife and mother of their kids. I attended his Tahlil to pay him a respect as my dad’s cousin and close young days buddy.

(8) Earlier, before reaching the home, I took a slow drive along Kampung Nanas. I try hard to recognize all those old homes that I used to frequent when I was the student at Abang Man Primary School. Those were the homes of my distance relatives. Here in fact, most of my father side relatives reside. My great grandfather, Bujang (akas Bojeng) was among the pioneer to this place. Later my grandfather, Abdul Manan, with all his fellows Sambas, Javanese and Bugis made a great Hijrah and settle in all those villages along the Sadong River, to avoid a direct confrontation with the invading Japanese in the 1940s. Simunjan since I left, had not changed much. I figured out, here they have serious leadership issues. The role model here were and are the teachers, whom seem not quite giving a dynamic leadership or model that the people could garner around. The poor hard lives of the 1960s are still much alive.

(9) At the kenduri, I have chance to meet some of my dad’s old friends as well as my primary school classmates. Most had grandkids, with less teeth left and much bold headed. We talked about the old days. Most interesting, I met my most feared person when I was studying in Abang Man. This fellow, now he is 55 years old, love to fight with anybody. In those days, at anytime I saw him, I will make all effort to run away from him. That night, we really laughed at all those naughty stupid old days.

(10) During the discussion, for sure, I have my piece on the never improved quality of lives of the people in general. Simunjan is dying. The developments in the Area, didn't have direct long term impact to the income improvement of the people. Social issues are in the uprising. Earning, mostly through medium to low paid civil services. Agriculture activities had never progressed much. Deep peat and salt water inundation are the major constraints. Worst, most of the people here are landless. Their homes are disorganized. Very traditional Malay type of settlement.No proper internal roading system. Drainage and sewerage are poor.

(11) In my old words, I would say, the haphazard nature of these typical traditional Malays settlements are reflection of their messy thought and unproductive "united" attitude. If we have to take the Malays to the next thinking and working level, their settlements organization have to be revolutionized. A serious case in hand, keep Beladin, Tabuan , and Kg. Seberang Hilir, Kuching as they are, definitely in 10-15 years time, these places will be the High Learning Institution for all sort of social illness.

(12) My longest critique about Simunjan, was, the Area seem to be treated as a backyard place. Those appointed to lead the Area, seem too busy to bother about other non-localized issues. They seem to have forgotten, their position was because they were elected by the people here, with lots of expectations and hopes. I hope, one day, these people will realize wrt their role and responsibility to these people. We can't be just busy pleasing yet in the long run we are loosing.

(13) Since few of my distance uncles were present, I requested them to work on few things that I might be able to help later. I hope to spent my time to infuse change to this part of the world. Probably; Allah is great, He purposely made me leave my previous comfortable position and now as a true corporate guy, how then I could be more focus and providing greater impact to some few new development models that I love to develop. May Allah help me.

(13) After the Tahlil I drove back home to Kg. Terasi. But as I passed those quiet dark villages, I felt so solemn. My sight was blurred by tears coming in my ways. The faces of my mum, my grandmum and a faraway friend kept flashing into my memories. I then stopped at the Surau of Kg. Selangkin, took my pray as adviced by my faraway friend. I prayed till I fall asleep. Only very early in the dawn, did I drove home.

(14) As usual, I need to keep myself busy to remain focus, wake up indeed. By 0630 hours, I cycle to those villages nearby. Nice to see their lives at the very early morning. I also spent some time at my old school at Sg. Putin. Here, the lifestyle had changed a lot. Then, with some of my workers, on the very early Sunday morning, I reorganized the landscape surrounding MyStore, Musical Gazebo and the under construct Musholla. I hope to make this place a real inspiring place for all those population surrounding MyKampung.

(15) At noon, my distance uncle whom doing the construction of the Musholla brought three mousedeer pelanduk, kancil, and I get my nephew to roast them and we ate together with all my workers and contractors. It is not easy this day to get pelanduk. Luckily, not many people enjoy the meat. But, roasted pelanduk with sambal kicap cili api surely will makes one to forget some of his pains for a while. During my kid days, I used to trapped the pelanduk at in the jungle not far from our home.

(16) To those successful Malays, let get back to our Kampung and show them the way. It is though, no doubt, but, as Allah had said: ...never think that I'll never tested you of your Iman... and in the old Malays words: Pinang pulang ke tampok, sirih pulang ke gagang, ikan pulang ke lubok.

Terasi, Simunjan
22 April, 2012